


Read the Summary

by younoknowme93



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Incomplete, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-09-26 02:30:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 43,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20382208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/younoknowme93/pseuds/younoknowme93
Summary: This is going to be a little weird.  This is a collection of incomplete dabbles/ideas.  All will be containing Severus.  Some will be mature, others will not, and I will do my best to tag at the beginning of each 'chapter'.  Each chapter is going to be a different idea that I've been working on.  Do not feel obligated to read this, this is mostly just a log for me to keep track of.  If you are curious though, feel free to read, each chapter is a different story and comment if it's an idea that you like.  Be warned though, none are complete, all are ideas, and some may cut off in the middle of dialog or action all depending on where I left off.  Some are long some are short.  I always appreciate feedback, so tell me what you think.  There will be a lot of 'chapters' once I post them all.  This will exclude incomplete chapters for stories already posted on AO3.  This will NOT exclude potential sequels.  Will include typos since they are not completed and edited yet.Also if you see an idea you would like to borrow please let me know so that I can read it :)Each chapter, I will leave a tentative title for, the pairing, rating, tags, etc.  Most I will not leave notes on so as a cursory saying, Onward my ducklings.





	1. With the war over

PAIRING: SEV/HARRY and Minor HARRY/Ginny (but I spelled it with a J and haven't fixed it yet.)

TAGS: Post war

With the war over, there wasn’t much for me to do. I never returned to finish my seventh year like the rest of my friends did. Really, I haven’t even seen any of them in several months. I have as little to do with the wizarding world as possible. With the fortune that my parents left me, I bought a small cottage far from any town. I went through muggle relaters simply because I didn’t want the whole of the wizarding world to know where I live. I just want to be alone. 

It took a lot to defeat Voldemort, and though I’m happy that my life is no longer in constant danger. What else is there left to do. I’m the savior of the wizarding world. But nothing else. Ron and Hermione are together. Once they graduate, they are planning to get married. Me and Jenny just aren’t together. I know that I’m expected to fall in love with her, but I can’t. I don’t want her. 


	2. What am I to you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: SEVERUS/MARAUDERS   
TAGS: NONCON,BOTTOM SEV, MATURE, TOP JAMES, TOP SIRIUS, STUDENT SEVERUS

The harassment has gone too far. They have always verbally and physically harassed me, but this year it has gotten a lot worse.

“Pants down Snivellus, and hands on the wall.” This has happened enough times where I don’t fight it anymore. I pull my trousers down but before I can place my palms on the wall entirely the toy inside of me is taken and thrust into me a few times before tossed to the ground. That’s all the preparation I get. Class just let out, and Potter has me pinned to the wall. “Your next class is with Sirius yea. He likes using my cum as lube to fuck you. So I bet he’s going to be pleased when he finds out I just had you.” He slides inside me and only pauses for a moment before taking me fast. I bite down any sounds threatening to escape. 

This isn’t the first or even the tenth time I’ve had his cock up my arse. Sometime between sixth and seventh year they, black and potter, decided that physical harassment wasn’t as good as raping me. They don’t injure me anymore, neither do any of the other Gryffindors. They barely even speak to me except in these moments.

“That’s it Snape. You feel real soft inside. Look at how hard you are. I bet you’re feeling it too. Come on. Let me hear those sounds. I know you can make some pretty sounds when you’re feeling it. I’ve heard you. You don’t look half bad when you’re jacking off. Let me hear that sound again. One of his hands is stroking me while the other grasps my hip. I bite my bottom lip. He abruptly stops stroking me to grab my other hip and slam in faster. “I know you like this. I know you want this. You wear that toy everyday just so you don’t have to wait for me to slam into you.”

He’s wrong. He would take me anyways. I just don’t like pain. At least by wearing the toy I don’t feel any pain and only feel… Fuck he’s deep inside me. “Just hurry and finish. I don’t want to be late for my next class.”

“You mean your next fuck. Sirius is waiting on you. He’s going to want you before class. He’s going to fuck you just like I am now.” His fingers on my sides are bruising as he pulls me back on him. All I can do is keep my hands on the wall and let him finish as soon as possible. “Just admit you like having our dicks inside you. Your cock is more honest that you are.”

“I don’t like any of this.” If he keeps going like this I really might make a sound. Maybe pain is preferable to embarrassing pleasure. 

“Your ass feels great. Thank you for letting me have you again.” But I didn’t. I didn’t let you. “I’m getting close. But don’t worry. I won’t neglect you. I’ll make sure you cum first.” Both of his hands are stroking me and my shoulders tense. “That’s it. Just let yourself feel good. Let’s paint the walls white with your cum. That’s it. You really turn me on. I’m so close. Come on. Cum for me Severus.” 

“Ahhh!!”

“That’s it. Let it all out Severus. Here you go. Here’s your reward for having such a fuckable ass. Nnn… Ohhh….” He’s buried so deep when he cums that I can’t get away. My name still echoes in my ears. Every time. All it takes is hearing them say my name and the cord snaps. “You felt amazing as always. Are you okay. Not hurting to bad right?” After he slides the toy back inside me, he’s starts securing my clothes. He rapes me. Why does he always treat me gently like this? It’ll only confuse me. This is just another way for them to bully me.

“I’m fine. If you really cared how I feel, then you would stop doing this.” He blinks a couple of times then kisses my cheek. 

“Severus. If you didn’t want us to then you would have already stopped us. You would have said no by now or told one of the teachers, or simply stopped walking this way to your classes. But every time you obediently open yourself for us.” He checks again to make sure my clothing is on correctly. Kissing my cheek, he gathers up my belongings and hands them to me. “Sirius is waiting.” I ignore my erection twitching. 

It feels like no time before my pants are down again. 

“I’ve been looking forward to this all day. Prongs had his way with you. His cum leaking out of your ass really turns me on. Spread yourself wide for me.” He doesn’t worry over if I’m stretched enough, he just slams inside. “You’re holding my dick so tight. So hot.” I let him, just like I let James. Both are gentle with me compared to how I was treated before. Does that make it better though? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This I started on about five years ago. i like the idea. it is closer to rape that I am typically use to writng and it does battle with the idea of consent. I still like this and might want to finish it at some point, but I'm not sure if it's worth the time I would have to put into it just to have a lack luster story.


	3. We don't speak of it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PAIRING: SEVERUS/HARRY  
TAGS: BOTTOM SEVERUS, TOP HARRY, MATURE, SHY SEVERUS
> 
> When ever this is a big gap that means more story needs to be added in between the two sections I will often include the general gist of what happens in that black spot. Often I do this if I am in the mood to write smut or plot.

Severus has four rules. No kissing, No touching, No looking, No talking. We have sex often. Only when I ask for it though. I was interested in him and told him so. He only replied with, ‘I have no interest in a relationship with anyone.’ So I asked what about sex. He agreed under four rules. No kissing, No touching, No looking, No talking. He has not relaxed on those rules. 

When I go to his room to have sex -always his room- I remove my clothes and lay on his bed. Then Severus binds my hands to the headboard and blindfolds me. Only once I am completely blinded and restrained does he undress. The first time I thought he was going to enter me, but no. I nearly came when a tight heat enveloped me. Once I finished- always inside- he would leave me for a couple minutes. He never finishes in front of me. 

He redresses and then frees me.

When we have sex, he never makes noise. If I’m lucky, he will breathe heavier.

(Harry breaks the ‘rules’ and Severus is a shy partner’)

“Harry. No.”

“You are so responsive. You always just ride me. But every inch of you begs to be touched.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reason this one has not been completed and I have not done much more to it, is because I was almost done with it, and the file didn't save properly and I was unable to recover it. Leaving me with nothing and it upset me so much I could never rewrite the over five thousand word story.


	4. Nothing personal Snivillious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PAIRING; SEVERUS/SIRIUS/REMUS/MOONY  
TAGS; WEREWOLF SEX, KNOTTING, LOVE TRIANGLE, BOTTOM SEVERUS, MATURE,DUB/NONCON ELEMENTS

“Nothing personal Snivillious.” The body bind certainly feels personal, but he’s rubbing my back and that’s almost enough to make this humiliation worth it. 

“Black, release me this instance.” I force as much contempt into my voice even though I’ve accepted long ago that I feel anything but contempt for the man before me. Since the moment he saved me from this same werewolf currently nosing between my legs. 

“I can’t do that.” He rubs my shoulder, but doesn’t look at me. Instead he keeps his deep eyes trained on the beast behind me. I’ve never willingly been so naked before and I’m equal parts cold and hot from shame. I never wanted anyone to see me so underdressed- least of all him. Each of my ribs are clearly visible and the grotesque scars… “It isn’t going to be that bad, just lay there and try to relax. We didn’t want to do it like this, but you just wouldn’t hear Remus out.” 

“What in the bloody hell are you talking about!”

“Snape, your craggy ass is a virgin, and Moony wants to mate with you. Up until now, Remus was able to hold Moony back, but each year it’s getting harder to control. I was able to stop him when we were in school, but Moony just gets more and more drawn to you.” He lifts me up by my hair and It’s a task to not flinch away from his gaze. “I don’t get why Moony would choose you over me, but for Remus, I’m going to make sure that Moony gets to pop that cherry of yours.”

“Merlin!” I yelp.

“You should be thankful that Moony is preparing you. It’s going to hurt regardless, but at least this way you probably won’t rip.” The beast’s tongue is still lapping at my lower body and I would like nothing more than the ground beneath me to swallow me up. A low growl draws Black’s attention. “Looks like he’s lost patience, he’s about to mount you. Just try to deal with it Snape.” He pulls me flush against him and the shame is all the more worse.

“Release me now!”

“Look Snape. Use that brain you are so proud of. Moony is about to fuck you, and it’s not going to be some gentle lovemaking. He cares about your body, but he’s at his limit. He’s going to rut until he is satisfied- and that will take a while. It’s either I hold you like this, or he’s going to fuck you into the ground. Keep on glaring and hating me. I hate your ass too, but Remus wouldn’t want that ugly face of yours to get hurt.” He pulls me securely against him and my face is pressed into his shoulder. I can’t say anything to him. I can’t think of anything that would make me sound less powerless right now. He rubs my back. “Take a deep breath.” I can feel his hands spreading my cheeks. Something wet touching me in that tender place and I want to jerk away from him, but the spell holds me fast. “Good. Now. Exhale.”

“Ahhhh!” Fire. Burning painful fire.

“That’s it. He’s all in you. Congratulations Severus, you’ve lost your virginity.” _Oh Merlin, no_. “Did you just?”

“Shut it Black or I’ll kill you.” It’s hard to sound threatening when you are being raped.

“You did. You came.” He’s laughing like a child and the shame is so thick I can taste it. “Well isn’t Moony lucky, he found him a mate so into beast cock that they cum immediately.”

“I’m not into bestiality, you sick fucks!”

“All of your spunk says otherwise.” He’s still laughing and If I had the ability, I would strangle him. “Or maybe you’re into humiliation. What is it? What made you feel so good that you just couldn’t restrain yourself.”

“Fuck you Black!”

“Being so mean and here I am being so nice Severus.” Oh Merlin. Not again. Shut up you stupid stupid mutt. “_Oh_.” Oh no. “You just got a little hard just now. Maybe you actually wanted me to fuck you. Am I right _Severus?” _

“I hate you.” Angry hot tears are threatening to spill, but I refuse to allow him to make a bigger fool out of me..

“Moony.” The werewolf slows. “He isn’t feeling good like this, we have to move him.” The beast growls in what sounds angry, but I feel the hot appendage pull out. I only have that relief for so long though before Black flips me onto my back. This is so much worse. There is so much cum on my stomach and I’m hard. A wet tongue laps up my cum and then immediately tongues my anus. I can feel a combination of cum and saliva pushed into me. “That’s it now. Much better.” Once again, I’m laying against Black. I can feel his heart beat against the back of my head and the way he holds my hips at an angle is entirely to intimate. “He’s ready for you Moony. Go ahead. Rut all you want.” A warm hand is laying over my abdomen. “Is this better Severus?” He’s rubbing my skin lightly. I feel like I’m being split in half. “Just try to stay relaxed. It’ll stop hurting soon enough if you relax. Werewolves secrete a lot of precum, so you will be very slick soon enough.” Even being held, my body cannot fully take the wild thrusting. It’s painful. “Don’t grit your teeth.” Black says rubbing my abdomen. His free hand grasps me tightly. With long full strokes, he pumps me until I’m reduced to a puddle. “That’s it. Much better. Everyone should enjoy sex. Moony doesn’t want to hurt you. But you really rile him up. This whole situation is really fucked up. Remus has wanted you for so long now, and I always wanted him, and it looks like you.. well. You complete the triangle.” 

“I don’t complete anything, I hate you, you stupid mutt!”

“I’m really thinking you don’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm writing this because I planned for it to eventually be Mpreg and I loved the idea of Sirius having his hand over Snape's womb feeling as moony thrusts into him in order to get him pregnant. I planned for this to eventually turn into a poly relationship.


	5. sex ed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pairings: Severus/Mod  
Tags: bottom severus, virgin severus, mature

I drew the short straw. 

“Sexual intercourse is…” 

“Professor. About what age do most people lose their virginity.” His sharp gaze turns to me.

“It is recommended to wait until one’s wedding night to engage in sexual intercourse for the first time.” 

“But what if someone decided they do not want to get married.”

“Then it is recommended to not engage in sexual intercourse.” Each word is said dryly. 

“Well, you aren’t married, so does that mean you are a virgin.” I can glare enough to make first years cry, but I’m at the end of my rope in this class. The professors take turns teaching this course since it is important, but not part of our regular curriculum. I’ve managed to avoid teaching this class my entire employment, but my luck ran out.

The boys and girls take separate classes, and

(fred and george take an interest in Severus)

“Oh George you must join me inside the Professor. He’s much softer inside.” 

(Different idea)

It is important for student to learn, and sexual education is no exception. The boy and girls are separated into two large classrooms. Each year we teach the same lesson, and this year it is Lupin and myself teaching the hormone crazed boys of Hogwarts. 

I drew the short straw. In the past I’ve always managed to void teaching this course, but my luck ran out. Already, before class has even begun, I am being asked questions.

“Professor Snape, about what age do most people lose their virginity.” His sharp gaze turns to me.

“It is recommended to wait until one’s wedding night to engage in sexual intercourse for the first time.” 

“But what if someone decided they do not want to get married.”

“Then it is recommended to not engage in sexual intercourse.” Each word is said dryly. 

“Well, you aren’t married, so does that mean you are a virgin.” I can glare enough to make first years cry, but I’m at the end of my rope in this class. Lupin smiles at me. The bastard.

“

(sex happens)

“Now, one of you lucky boys will have gotten Severus here all swollen and pregnant, and whoever managed to knock him up with have fifty points added to his house. A hundred if it’s multiple children.”

“Ah. Remus, There is to much inside.”

“Hush now, you did well. Class is dismissed. Make sure to do your homework.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had two different ideas and I didn't know If I wanted Severus to be completely innocent or slutty in this story and I'm still undecided. In the first set, he would be taught by Fred and George about sex even though he is the teacher, and in the second, although he is still a virgin, he masturbates with toys alot and it quite perverted.


	6. Genie in a bottle baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Severus/Harry

It’s something ornate and honestly out of place in this otherwise drab room. The walls are lined with severed toes and innards of creatures once alive. Other equally noxious ingredients used for his craft. But this stands out among all of the jars and vials. 

A bottle covered in stained glass and yet the container is not transparent. Gleaming lights flicker and although I know touching something clearly magical in nature can be a dangerous action, the glass calls to me. It beckons me closer. Pleading with me to grab the smooth surface. At the first touch, it’s to late. I hold the intricate bottle in my hands and watch how it shines. A thought tells me that it could shine brighter if I would just run my palm along the exterior. The thought takes over and I find that is all I want to do. 

A shout sounds immediately after and the bottle is wretched from my hands. A look of anger and disbelief. 

“Potter! What have you done!” 

“Sir, I was just fascinated with that bottle. I’ve never seen anything like that.” He’s shaking in what can only be anger. 

“It’s mine.” Well of course it is? Who’s else could it be. I wouldn’t imagine anyone would leave something so pretty as that in Snape’s hands if they could keep it. “It’s my bottle.” He says more reluctantly.

“Yes sir, and I shouldn’t have touched it since it weren’t mine.” That must be what he means. He looks at the beautiful thing in his hands as if it were something ugly.

“Potter, you don’t understand. This is my bottle. It’s mine.”

“Professor, what isn’t to understand about that.”

“It’s my bottle!” He shouts and I’m afraid the force of his lungs will shatter the delicate container in his hands. He sinks to his knees and holds the ornate bottle against his chest. “It’s my bottle. My container. My prison.” He says the last in a whisper. “Why did you have to rub it. Why did _you_ have to condemn me in this way.”

“Sir?”

“It would seem that I once again have been given a new master.” He turns to me and I feel like I’m seeing his face for the first time. His dark eyes have a sadness to them that I’ve never seen in another person. While on his knees, he turns his body to face me and bows low until his forehead is touching the cold ground of the dungeons. “Greetings master, I am the Genie Severus Snape, how might I be of service to you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This would be an interesting story and I like the idea.


	7. A partnership

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pairings: Severus/Harry/Tom Riddle  
Tags: dark Harry, mature, dub/noncon elements, eventual mpreg

_Lily, I swear this wasn’t my intention. _

“You really held up your end of the bargain Tom.”

“Harry, my dear boy, must you use my muggle name. If we are truly to be allies then I ask that you use my proper name. Naturally I would hold up my end as a show of good faith. Severus has always been a very capable servant. I hope that he pleases you as you desire.” The boy I’ve spent my life protecting smirks at the dark lord and confidently removes his clothes until nothing remains.

“Tom, is he really a virgin like you promised.”

“Again, with that awful name.” He clicks his tongue but I’ve seen the dark lord kill for lesser things. He seems almost… pleased at the boys attitude. “Yes, he is definitely a virgin. I had him recruited when he was just a student after all. No one at the time would ever show interest of that kind for our little Severus. He has had no suiters and my order for him to remain chaste is something he would never betray. Some potions require the brewer to be a virgin. As per our agreement, you will be his first.”

“Perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to make this story where together Harry and Tom Riddle turn Severus into an mommy that basically sires and army. It's hard to find the right level of dark without it being unsettling.


	8. Fred and George

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paring: Fred/George/Severus

There exists sets of twins that detest being seen as a unit. They are two people, not one set of twins. That is something Fred and I cannot understand. We have always been together. There was a time that our parents tried to separate us. They tried to give us a sense of individuality, but that went less than ideally. It ended with both of us- separately- going into an almost comatose state until we were reunited with each other. At the time we were four. Where ever I go, Fred is not very far behind.

_And where ever I go, George is not very far behind. _

**We are not two people. **

_It became clear that George and I just could not be separated. _

Yes, Fred and I were just unable to go far from one another. 

**From the moment we opened our eyes, the other was there.**

I would open my eyes and Fred’s eyes were always the first thing I would see. Like a mirror imagine of myself, he would be there. We would wake up and take our shower together. Dress together. And then go down and eat together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mostly liked the idea The regular font would be both of them italicized would be Fred and bolded would be George but it was a lot of effort.


	9. love confined

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Severus/Remus (Moony)  
Tags: werewolf sex, mating, mature

What’s the difference between a man and a beast? No one has ever asked me this question. If someone were to, I doubt I could provide an honest answer. My beliefs on the matter are not as cut and dry as most would be. I do not believe that question has an easy answer. I suppose if I were to put my trust in one over the other, I would trust the beast. 

I’ve worked hard to get where I am today. Morally, I was not always pure. I’ve failed a lot. I’ve bitterly made choices that would send me spiraling into corrupt depths. Especially in regards to Remus Lupin. There was a time that I had to make a choice and every time, Lupin gets the short end. When we were students, I let him hold me. He would embrace me as if I were something beautiful and even now I’d fall for him given the opportunity. Because no one has ever found me beautiful. It’s hard to blame them though when one goes out of their way to be cold and ugly. 

He would embrace me. He was my first, though I never told him that. My chest will occasionally still flutter with the bitterness of young love. I was a secret from his friends and he from mine. It isn’t that I wouldn’t choose him over my Slytherin ‘friends’, but I knew he wouldn’t choose me over his. It’s dangerous to burn bridges when no one wants you to begin with. So knowing that he would always choose his friends over me, I made a choice of my own. And I choose to follow the dark lord. 

A stupid decision. But I was young and so easily corruptible. I wanted strength. I wanted to be accepted. To be thought of as useful. I obtained that but lost something ‘human’. I realized to late how stupid I had acted, and strived to redeem myself. Then I was given another chance with Remus. We talked none of our past cavorting. I was never an attractive child, but I grew even less so with age. While he continued to look breathtaking even while ragged. I wouldn’t admit to still holding an infatuation for him. 

And again. I choose to distrust him. I choose to believe that he was aiding one of his friends into the castle. I think I distrusted him more for my sake than anyone else’s. I could not let him know about this desire that I still held for him. Or the night where I was too lonely to keep my hands above the covers like some undisciplined school boy. I’ve had many hold me on this conquest of power that I once set myself out on. But there was only ever one that I truly longed for. 

It seems that history repeats itself. He with his friend and I with ‘mine’. The memories of him still make me shiver. I was bound to be found out. I simply couldn’t kill him.

I could kill countless innocents. I could kill my fellow colleagues- some of which I actually somewhat cared for. I could even kill Albus. The only man that has ever really felt like a father to me. For the sake of the war and the light, I could make these sacrifices to my sanity. But not him. I couldn’t kill him. So now, I’m set to die. Slowly. By the only man I ever really loved. Across from me in this cell is Remus Lupin. He was captured, and I tried to free him. Only to be discovered.

How does that saying go again? Something about being stupid when you love someone. I don’t know. It never really mattered for me to remember something like that.

Tonight, is the night of the full moon. And he will change. And he will kill me. I don’t mind. Not if it’s him. But I hope that he does so quickly so that I do not proclaim sappy words that I’ve been swallowing since we were first years. I’m ashamed to admit it started back then. 

Remus when you held me that night in the astronomy tower during forth year, it was the only night that has ever stayed with me. It is the only memory that I cannot keep myself from cherishing. It hurt so bad. Though I told you that it did not. I hurt. But so desperate for you to not stop, I refused to admit it. I didn’t think I would ever have a chance with you. 

“Severus.”

“Do not use my name.” I hiss out as threateningly as I can. We are both trapped in this cage. I am soon to die by his hand. This is not the time for theatrics, but I cannot let him know how pathetic I really am. I can’t be humiliated as well. 

“Please. We have to talk.”

“Sorry wolf, I am a bit too busy at the moment perhaps try again in the morning.” When I’m dead.

“Severus. You know I haven’t taken the wolvesbane potion.” It’s his subtle way of reminding me that he will be killing me soon.

“Yes yes, that insufferable curse that you possess.”

“Severus, please. I really need to talk with you.”

“I have no desire to speak with you.”

“I will not have any control over Moony. He will be drawn to you. I need for you to understand.” I exhale agitatedly. 

“Yes Lupin, you have my word that I will not hold it against you.” When I’m ripped apart. He doesn’t seem satisfied. He’s pacing the room like a caged animal and even though I’ve been acting calm. Deep down I am not wholly ready to die. 

“The time is coming. Severus.”

“Lupin. Just stop.” My tone seems enough to sober him. “I reluctantly admit that I would rather die by your monstrous form, then killed by any means that the dark lord could devise.” His face is pale. The thin scars across his face only make his ragged appearance look more ghostly.

“Severus, You don’t understand. Moony doesn’t want to kill you.” He winces as the start of his transformation takes hold of him. I keep my distance. His clothes are being ripped as his body expands to accommodate his new form. Hair spurts from all over, but for now he still looks relatively humanoid. “Severus, I cannot control Moony.” 

“What do you mean he doesn’t want to kill me Lupin?” He’s pacing again. The pain makes him slow to regain himself often.

“Moony wants to mate with you. He always has Severus. Since we were students. You will not be able to stop him. Thus far, I have been able to keep him in check around you, but I will not be able to tonight. You need to understand that I am sorry Severus.” And he does look sorry.

“What do you mean he intends to mate with me!”

“Severus, you ended the relationship with me without giving me any reason. Was it because you found out that I’m a werewolf.” No. It had nothing to do with that.

“Of course it’s because you are a werewolf. I have no interest in being with a monster.” I can’t admit the truth to him. I began to love him and that terrified me. He was so close to his friends, and me… pathetic and almost entirely friendless. I couldn’t let myself to pulled to his pace. I couldn’t allow myself to become accustomed to a temporary thing.

“I’m sorry Severus. I will not be able to stop Moony. He’s going to mate with you. I’m so sorry. I can’t control him.” His words become garbled at the end as his mouth stretches into a muzzle. His clothes are ripped from his new form and hair covers him entirely. He’s circling me on all fours like a predator. He looks hungry and a cold chill runs up my spine. 

He doesn’t pounce. He doesn’t tackle me. Instead, he deliberately nudges me to the ground. It’s slow but forceful enough to let me know he doesn’t intend to hurt me, but I also do not have a choice. Once on the ground, his claws proceed to begin destroying my clothes. Until I stop him and show that I will take them off… because when this ends I would like to not be naked. 

I clearly can’t fight him and right now he’s in good enough spirits. He’s showing no intention of physically hurting me, but at the same time. I know his intentions. And if I had any doubts, the angry red erection hanging between his legs clears them up. This is going to happen. 

If I fought back, I’m not sure if ‘Moony’ will take that as an opportunity to become violent. I’m not sure I’m willing to take the chance of being killed or converted into a werewolf myself. It’s a blow to my pride, but being obedient will be in my best interest. Not that my own erection has anything to do with my decision. 

His tongue prods areas that haven’t been touched since I was a student. The beast seems intent of touching me everywhere, but thus far he’s shown no desire to actually hurt me. In no way is he hurting me. But in no way am I resisting. Sure I’m afraid of death, but in the back of my mind, I know my real reason for not wanting to resist him.

I never stopped loving him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly love this one and you can tell because there is over a thousand words


	10. A place of refuge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Hagrid/Severus  
Tags: fluff, nightmares

It’s not something I’m allowed to ask about. It’s a bit odd actually, but for his sake, I never ask. It’s not uncommon for students to find refuge in my hut. I keep it nice and homey I do. Students are a lot like animals. They like knowing they are safe. Even the ones all fangs and claws want it too. 

So, it started when he was a student. Late at night- long since students should be in bed- a sneaky little student would sneak out of the castle and into my hut. Silently he would curl up in my chair- it swallowed his small frame. Then before sunrise, he would sneak back to the castle. Going just as silently as he came. 

Saying nothing, I began leaving a blanket out for the stowaway. In an easy to find location. Thrown in such a way that he wouldn’t think it was intentional. I was glad to see him using it. Before sunrise he would leave. Place the blanket in the same place and vanish into the morning.

I knew I had to tell Dumbledore. It isn’t something that would be good if others found out, but I also didn’t want the tyke to get in trouble. Sure enough, he must have a reason. I told Dumbledore, and he stroked his long beard.

“I believe young Severus doesn’t have anywhere else to go. His own house mates have little to do with him, and his parents care very little.” Dumbledore looked at me in his knowing way, and that was more or less the end of that conversation.

The young student still came and slept in my chair each night. I never talked to the scrawny little thing and simply let him do as he pleased. If my chair was a place where he felt safe, I wasn’t going to scare him away. Let him come as he likes.

I really never expected him to honestly admit to sleeping in my hut.

When he became a teacher, all nightly visits ended. I expected him to quietly keep those nights a secret. Instead, he became unnaturally honest. I still remember the official meeting he asked to have with me in my home at seven fifteen, sharp. He sat in the seat I’ve seen him sleep in countless times; his legs were crossed at his ankles. I brewed him a cup of tea and he drank it thoughtfully.

“Hagrid, do you know why I have asked to speak with you.”

“I cannot say I rightly know sir.”

“As a child- a student, I was thankful that you never questioned my actions, but thinking clearly as I do now, you must have known.”

“I have no idea what you mean sir.” If he wishes for an out, I will give him one.

“Yes, you do. I don’t know why I didn’t realize you were leaving blankets out for me. In your own way, you were trying to make me feel more comfortable. I thank you for that. This chair has been the only place I have ever been able to sleep soundly.”

“Sir,”

“Please let me finish Hagrid. As a student I knew better than to ask for permission to stay here. That would be altogether improper. I was often not allowed inside the Slytherin Common rooms due to my friendship with Lily Evens. Even once my friendship with her went sour, I could not bring myself to stay in a place where I did not feel welcome. As you are aware, Dumbledore appointed me Slytherin Head of House. As such, I am no longer able to sleep away from the castle. I must be close in case there is some sort of emergency.” He’s holding he tea cup nervously. “That is what brings me to the topic of this meeting.” He clinches his eyes tightly as if trying to summon courage. “I would like to offer you a job.”

“Sir, I don’t really understand. I’m pretty happy here as a groundskeeper.”

“It would actually be more like a chore, and it would not impact your daily life terribly. Hagrid, I can’t sleep. I would like for you to stay in my rooms with me until I fall asleep.” His knuckles are turning white, and his hands are shaking. When I don’t say anything immediately, he continues. “It would not take more than an hour of your time each day, and we can negotiate a price that we are both satisfied with.”

“Severus sir, how would having me nearby help you sleep.” His right hand crosses in front of his chest to nervously squeeze his left arm.

“It is not uncommon for me to get high levels of anxiety before I go to sleep each night. It is primarily due to the types of dreams I have. More often than not, I have night terrors. It has always made me a light sleeper. When I stayed in this chair, I was able to sleep through the night because your presence calms me. I’m sure that if you were to stay with me until I get to sleep, then I would be able to get at least some sleep each night.”

“Professor, sir.”

“Hagrid, it is not common for me to ask for assistance. I… truly hate feeling like I need help from another. Even if you were to just help me a night or two out of the week, I would be appreciative. I would pay you whatever you wanted.” He has dark shadows under his eyes.

“Sir, how did you manage when you were a student. On holidays when you would go home to your parents.” He clinches his jaw and crosses his arms securely.

“I didn’t sleep. My father wasn’t… the kind sort.” He says trailing off. “I couldn’t be unconscious around him. I mean.” He bites his bottom lip. “He never cared if I was awake or asleep. He did… anything he pleased. But at least if I were awake then I could try to… stop him.” 

“Sir, did your father…” He holds up his hand to stop me.

“That isn’t important. Just don’t think about it. I’m afraid to go to sleep, and dreamless sleep have no affect on me. I’ve developed an immunity to it. Hagrid. You are the only one I can and would ask.” He bows his head low, and even if I was the type to say ‘no’, I couldn’t refuse him right now.

“Of course I will, sir.” He nods relieved. “When would you like for me to start.” He blinks tiredly. 

“Right now. I haven’t… six days. I’ve been using potions and coffee to stay awake. I didn’t want to ask. If you said no, I didn’t know what…” He rests his head in his hands and he looks as young as he is. It’s so easy to forgot how young he is with the premature wrinkles from stress. I see him smile for the first time, and it lightens his face. He doesn’t look as haggard. 

“Alright then Professor, let’s get you to yer bed.” He smiles and nods, but the moment he goes to stand he collapses back on the large chair. It startles me, and I rush over to him. His chest is rising and falling evenly, and I can hear soft snores. He really was tuckered out. I lift him carefully so as to not startle the sleeping man in my arms. Gentle I rock him awake and his eyes look more tired and bloodshot than before. “Severus Sir, you fell asleep. I have to get you to your room.” Disoriented for a moment he grumbles. 

“Sassafras. Password.” And he’s back asleep. After that, it was easy enough to bring him inside the castle, go to his personal room, and say the password to get inside. He slept the entire time. I lay him in his bed figure he will be alright sleeping in his day robes just for tonight. Still, I cover him up all snug like, smooth his hair off of his face, and leave the man to sleep. If not for his hand reaching out and grasping me, I would have left. “Are you…. Already?” His eyes look large and like a child’s asking their mother to stay just a bit longer. 

“Sir, you aren’t fully awake right now, try to get some sleep.” Weakly his fingers grip my sleeve tighter.

“Please. It’s only safe when you are with me.” I don’t rightly understand what he means, but his pleading tone can’t be refused. 

“Just a bit longer then sir.” He smiles at me and I’ve already accepted that I’ll stay the whole night. Sitting next to his bed, propped against the wall, I watch this strange man sleep. He’s grasping my arm tightly in his sleep to make sure I don’t leave and the content smile hasn’t left his peaceful features. 

Many students have found my hut to be a safe place, but for Severus, it seems that I am his safe place. I don’t rightly know what that means yet, but for now I will not ask the man. I’ll just let him feel all safe and sound and if the time comes, then he will tell me himself. 

“Rubeus.” He mumbles in his sleep. I’m not sure what dreams he could be having about me, but from the pleasant look on his face, I’m sure they are good ones.

“I’m right here sir.” I say gently. “Just you sleep and leave it to me to keep you safe.” 

For as long as you want Severus, I’ll be your place of refuge.

During the day he says nothing. He doesn’t even look in my direction, but each night I go to his bed chambers and he is always waiting with a light smile. 

Tonight he is in his bed clothes waiting for me. A long gray night shirt, and he looks so cute with the shirt down to his thighs. It reminds me of a child wearing their parent’s clothes, or someone wearing their lovers shirt. It makes my mouth dry. I’ve never really had the opportunity to see a lover the next day wearing my clothes as if they belonged to them since I’ve never had a lover. My size is off putting to the fairer gender, and I’ve never had the opportunity to find any potential partner- much less take them to bed. 

“Professor.” I say gently. He’s already beneath his covers with his eyes closed, but I’ve seen him sleep enough times to know that he Is still awake. We rarely talk during these moments. My task is to simply be here until he falls asleep. Nothing more. 

“Yes Hagrid?” His eyes remain closed. He only calls me Rubeus in his sleep.

“How long are you wanting me to stay.”

“Just until I fall asleep as per the usual.”

“Yes sir, I know that. For how much longer. How many more times?” His eyes open.

“I suppose I am taking up many of your evenings. For as long as you are willing.”

“Shouldn’t we… maybe find a way where you don’t need me here. It isn’t that I mind, but if something were to happen and I weren’t able to stay with you.” He exhales and sits up in his bed.

“If it were as simple as finding a way to overcome this issue, then I would have found it already. Asking you for help wasn’t my first option. It was pretty well the least. Even as a student I struggled to find solutions. During the breaks where I had to go to my parent’s home, I stayed away until my body collapsed.”

“I know you mentioned night terrors, but sir what exactly…”

“That is something I would rather not talk about Hagrid.” His hands close around the bed sheets and he looks so small. “If I am taking up your valuable time, then simply leave. Come as often or as seldom as you please. If you require more money for your time then you will have it.” I told him that I didn’t want any payment, but he insisted. Vulnerable as he is, Severus Snape is still a proud man that refuses handouts. I’ve put the majority of the money into a vault. I don’t really need it.

“It’s nothing like that sir. I just think if I know what scares you so much then maybe it’ll be easier for me to help.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't want this one to be pervy at all. I really intend for this to be a very fluffy sweet story... but since I've not been in the mood to write fluff, I haven't finished this. Now I'm thinking maybe it's a weird idea for a story.


	11. red string

Some secrets are better off kept to oneself. I have an ability- and maybe it’s made me a bit cynical. Or bitter. 

Snape sees red strings…. Saw lily connected to James. Saw himself connect to their son

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> still mostly just an idea


	12. daddy issues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> major warnings  
Relationships: Hagrid, Severus  
Tags: mentions of pedophilia, sexual abuse, incest, mature, bottom severus

I remember the first time I had sex. I was nine. I don’t look back on the memory fondly or remorsefully. I understand my father was morally corrupt for what he did to me, but the child that I wasn’t didn’t understand that at the time. He didn’t hurt me and by all accounts, he was gentle. He explained that since my mother left us, we only had each other and that this was what I should do in order to be a good son. When I reevaluate my memories, I see how manipulative and abusive his actions were, but at the time when my father touched me as one would a lover, he was gentler and more loving than in all my years previous. I’m not glorifying his actions, and I do not need to be told of how morally corrupt my father was for teaching his young son the ways of pleasuring someone.

He was an alcoholic. Verbally and Physically abusive to both my mother and myself. My mother once told me that before I displayed magical abilities, my father was a normal man. Normal meaning not abusive. And that his change in character was my fault. I truly believed her; I still do.

The first time I met my maternal grandparents, they looked at me, then back at my mother. Then, ignoring my presence, they told her that they loved their daughter and would take her back, but the half-blood wasn’t welcome. So. When I was nine, my mother abandoned both my father and myself to return to her family. It wasn’t a week later that I lost my virginity. 

I can understand why I was willing. This was a way for my father to love me. My mother already didn’t and wouldn’t. But this was a way to be loved. Thinking back, I see how twisted the reality really was. No father that truly loved his child would do what my father did to me. Sometimes I still feel sick when I suddenly remember what his touch felt like. When I remember something that I should have never experienced. 

Could what my father did to me be considered rape. I consented, but I was a child unable to fully understand the ramifications of the heinous act. I still can’t bring myself to hate him for what he did. It wasn’t until I started Hogwarts that I realized the crime that my father committed. I didn’t really talk to anyone other than Lily, and even she only sparingly. My presence was inconsequential to most students. I was easily ignored, and I didn’t mind it. It was because of this that I would hear older experienced students talking about their conquests. I still remember one boy looked on as a legend for having had sex at the age of fourteen. I learned a lot from quietly listening in on conversations that didn’t concern me.

Men are supposed to have sex with women- not other men- and parents do not have sex with their children. I felt dirty even though no one could possibly know my secret. I felt dirty. Because even once I realized that what I had always known, was wrong, I had felt good. It felt good being held in large familiar arms. It felt good being coddled and treated gently just by doing something that felt so simple. It felt good to believe that I was being loved. Even if the reality is much bleaker. 

There was a Ravenclaw boy. A boy that I never talked to, but everyone knew that there was something wrong with him. Because that boy in Ravenclaw that I didn’t know, didn’t hide the fact that he was attracted to other boys. I thought him stupid. Everyone knows to hide those flaws, but he didn’t. So he was bullied. As much as I was for just existing. I didn’t like him, but I was glad that he existed because it took the attention off of me. As long as I wasn’t the most different, I would be okay. He would get insulted in the crudest of ways, but he would just walk away and not deny anything. Then one day, the insults aimed at him escalated and a group of boys became violent. They were hitting him. Kicking. Casting hexes. I watched, glad that it wasn’t me but also realizing that if my secret came to light, I would get it worse. I couldn’t look away. He looked like he wanted to cry as fellow students threw slurs and curses. 

Then. They stopped. 

I watched the groundskeeper walk up to the boy and help him up. His large hands brushed some of the dirt off of his robes and he looked on at the crowd of people. I still remember. He towered over everyone. His clothes heavily worn and stained from continuous hard labor. Hair wild and unkempt. Eyes kind, but confident. Serious even. 

“Wha’s goin’ on here?” His large booming voice snapped the bullies to attention. Everyone knew that the large man didn’t abide bullies. 

“Hagrid, it’s not what you think. We were just defending ourselves. This guy here is a poof and he was looking at us when we were all suiting up for quidditch practice.” I hear one of the bullies state their case, but I only look at the large man. 

“I wasn’t looking at any of you.” The Ravenclaw stands shakily for a moment then turns to Hagrid. “I didn’t do anything; these guys are just homophobic arseholes.” He’s scared. Even I can see it, but he’s forcing his tone to sound confident. Several of the boys in the group sneer at him.

“Why should we have to take showers after practice with a poof?” A different boy says. “The freak probably gets off to spying on us getting dressed. The sick pervert.”

“Now, tha’s enough. There isn’ nothin’ wrong with bein’ gay.” He pats the Ravenclaw on the back. “It’s no’ nice to accuse someone of doin’ some’hin like that. It might be hard to accept at first, but he’s a s’udent like everyone else. He just happens to like blokes.” A large smile is stretching across the groundkeepers face and students are whispering. “Tha’s right. I’m a poof too. A fairy boy I am. So if any of ya h’ve something to say about gays, well you just come by and we’ll h’ve a nice chat over some tea.” He didn’t really sound threatening. Merlin, knowing him he really would put the kettle on.

I wasn’t sure if he actually was gay, everyone knew that Hagrid would say almost anything to put an end to bullying. And he would stand up for anyone. Salazar knows he stood up for me. It was about that time that I realized that I had another secret to keep. I was in love with the uneducated rotund, possibly straight, much older than myself groundskeeper. 

I wonder if it’s because my father had lost interest in me. I was getting older, bigger. He was no longer interested in me in any way. I was beginning to hit puberty and take on a masculine appearance. He went back to only hating me. But I missed what it was like to have large arms embracing me. My father was not as large as he once was. Still bigger than me, but shrinking every day. It was for the best, I didn’t want to continue feeling the shame that I felt every time the man that shouldn’t touch me, did.

I wonder if my fascination with the large man was because of the sexual abuse I experienced. I refused to act on such thoughts though. Years later when I because a teacher at that same school, I’d still hear those slurs bouncing down the halls. Directed at students that were too comfortable with themselves. Or students that didn’t want to hide anymore. I hate myself for it, but I’m not like him. I do what I’ve always done and pretend that I don’t hear the comments, if only to keep my own secrets safe. There are things that no one should ever know. So, I would pretend not to hear those same familiar insults. 

To this day, no one knows about the actions that transpired between my father and myself. At the age of fourteen my father ceased all intimate acts. I stalled it for as long as I could. Shaving all body hair, speaking at a higher pitch. Trying to stave off his disinterest. I was ashamed of myself, but it was the only way that my father could love me. As if he did. At that tender vulnerable age, I longed for him to continue treating me gently. I did not particular enjoy the act, but after when he would pat my head… like he was proud of me. It was worth any measure of shame. 

I remember that I seduced him once. I felt attractive. Wanted. Loved. I did what he taught me. But in the end. Even my pedophilic abusive father didn’t want me. If that isn’t a wake-up call, then nothing is. I was yet again unlovable. To be expected I suppose. Perhaps that’s one of the reasons I was so easy to recruit into the dark lord’s ring of followers. Anything to be accepted. Anything to belong.

During the second war, I was more or less able to ignore the itch I’ve felt for the bumbling oaf that tends the creatures of Hogwarts. There was so much to be done. So much. After the second war I took back up the mantle of potions professor. I watch the first years and sometimes I wonder what could make a grown man attracted to a child. That’s all I was. I don’t understand it. I could never do anything of that sort. 

The castle isn’t as divided as it once was. Slytherin against Gryffindor is now mostly for sport. It’s not out of hatred anymore. I hear those slurs less. But sometimes it’s like I can hear them screaming in my head. Fag. Freak. Almost like the words are directed at me. With the war over, I have much less to focus on. More often than not, I’m left to my thoughts- a dangerous pastime. No one is harsher on me than myself. I hear the screams and the insults, but I know they are all in my head.

“Professor Sir. Here are the things you’ve been wan’in’.” The groundskeeper holds out a sack filled with fresh ingredients. 

“Thank you. That will be all.” I say dismissively. He hands me the package but lingers. I try desperately to ignore him in a nonchalant manner. I only speak to him when necessity dictates. Anymore and I might lose myself.

“Sir. Pardon my saying, but you’ve been looking ragged. I ‘spose you wouldn’t be interested in talking with me ‘bout it.” He doesn’t mean it as an insult like most people would mean. He says it out of concern. A truly foolish man.

“That will be all Hagrid.” The large man nods in acknowledgement. He recognizes the words for what they are. A refusal. A polite dismissal. So he leaves. Because I’m not worth the effort of him fighting for an explanation. And I shouldn’t be disappointed at that. After all. I’m the one who told him to leave.

As always, the ingredients he has brought me are top of the line.

He isn’t an idiot. I can at least admit that in the sanctuary of my own mind. Granted there are some elements that he understands very little of, but there are few that can find such find specimens of certain rare ingredients. 

He never complains no matter how long or how difficult the list I give him is. He’s much the same as he’s always been. Even tempered and protective of everyone. When I killed Albus, I was prepared for the hatred that Hagrid was sure to have for me. I killed a man that he respected more than any other. I could never tell him that I felt the grief as deeply as he did. I murdered Albus, and no amount of reasons or excuses can take that away. 

It’s too deep. Too familiar. I just want to scream. His hands are too large on my hips. I’m small. I’m too small. He’s too big. I cannot defend myself against this man.

“Easy now.” He’s trying to soothe me. I know he is, but it accomplishes the opposite of his intention. My father always comforted me during as well. One of his large hands goes to the small of my back. “I got ya sir.” My trimmed nails dig into the tough skin of his shoulders. “Yer taking me so well sir. Am I hurtin’ ya?” I groan when his hips slow.

“It’s fine. Keep going.” My mouth suctions against the crook of his neck and I busy myself blemishing the dark skin. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, this is a lot more twisted than I normally write about especially since severus seems more or less fond of the times where he was sexually asulted, but I like the idea of taking that twisted situation and making it into something sweet. I like the idea of Hagrid understanding the abuse severus went through and giving him the love he needs.


	13. lucy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Lucius/Severus

He’s familiar. He’s safe.

_He’s beautiful._

I’ve known him for so long that being next to him is as easy as breathing. He was older. Important. He had a flock that fawned over his every word and I… hated him. Well.

I pretended to hate him at least. He would smile coquettishly at everyone, and I would glare- all while my knees would go weak. I was love sick. But who wasn’t for Lucius Malfoy. Girls. Guys. We all wanted to be on his arm, or by his side. We were playthings that would become jealous if some other toy caught his attention over us. 

I tried to reason with myself. I know my worth. Some may call it self loathing, but I know what value I hold. I know my few shining good points, and I know my countless flaws. I would never delusion myself by running in the race for his affection. 

Besides. I ‘hated’ him.

I didn’t need anyone else. Hell. I had already seen what happens when I become close to someone. They leave. They lose interest. They find someone better. And then I am left back where I started only this time I realize that I was lonely. When one is accustomed to being alone, they often don’t realize how suffocating the quiet is. Until someone comes into their life and brightens it. When that person leaves though- and they always leave- they take all the brightness with them and only the dark remains. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mostly just wanted a lucius/severus story and I'm trying to think where to go with it.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Severus/Harry  
Tags: crossdressing

I’m completely aware about what is said about me. It has never really bothered me. There are facets of my life that I have_ had_ to keep secret, and there are facets of my life that I have _chose_ to keep secret. I was nine. That’s when it started. Lily enabled me. I would visit her at her house and I would try on her frilly dresses. It always felt right even when I knew it was wrong. I was nine at the time. But my secret continued all through puberty. For my birthday, she would buy what I could not buy myself. Padded bras to give the illusion of cleavage, tight lacy panties. And dresses. A pair of heels. Pantyhose of course. 

She never thought I was odd. 

I think she was the only one that didn’t.

I don’t necessarily think myself a woman. Far from it actually. I just like the freedom that comes with being a woman. I like having the men stare at me. I like having them undress me with their eyes. I like feeling pretty. I like being able to take it all off and then return to my quiet existence. 

The war ended and I barely managed to survive. I went into hiding. A home in a muggle neighborhood. No one from the wizarding world would find me here. Assuming they are still looking. It’s been five years. I don’t search for any information. I don’t want it.

During the weekends, I work at a restaurant where all the waitresses are men in drag. I make enough to live off of to go with my few other side jobs. It’s also fairly fun.

I wouldn’t necessarily say that I’m happy, but I’m not unhappy. I get to enjoy my little hobby while also not being a puppet for two men that were to powerful for their own good.

Tonight isn’t much different from other nights. My style of drag is a bit different from my counterparts. It’s more subdued. Elegant. My long hair pulled into a playful bun. Makeup done just so to camouflage my masculine appearance, but as natural looking as possible. Many of my coworkers are much younger than I, but being a wizard does much for one’s age. My skin has certainly also improved since I quit brewing. As has my hair.

There are times when I wake up in a panic, sprint to my lab to brew potions that must be running out by this time, before I remember that isn’t my life anymore. In my time, I have crafted too many deadly liquids. I have harmed too many. I have used it as a crutch to hide from the world behind work. There are still times that I brew potions. I haven’t completely given up on the art- it was once my passion after all. I wouldn’t even say that I brew monthly though. It’s more or less an activity I occasionally take up- like a hobby that I once knew inside and out but lost interest.

We get all manners of customers. Some that come for the fun environment. Some that come because they are part of this ‘world’. Some that come to hit on the waitresses. Some that refuse to believe we are all male. And some that come just to ridicule us for being different. 

For being odd.

I would say that I’m good at my job. I still have a sharp memory, and I can smile easily enough if it’s for my job. This persona I created is much more even tempered and I use that as a brace. Just because Severus would cut this person with biting words does not mean Samone would. 

“Ms. We are ready to order.” 

“I’ll be right there.” I say in a slightly higher sing song voice. Some of the waitresses continue to talk in their deep baritone and some do the opposite. I try for a middle ground. I like to give the appearance of someone who is androgynous. I look far to feminine to be a male, but far to masculine to be female. 

This restaurant being in the muggle world, I never see those I knew from the magical world. I always prepared myself for it just in case though. I’m glad that I always prepare for the unlikely.

“What can I get for you tonight.” I’m not Severus right now. I wouldn’t even be able to recognize myself right now. I’m not in any danger. Just remember I am not Severus. The boy who lived stares at me as if he doesn't know me, and I'm thankful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I planned for this to be a story where Harry doesn't know Severus survived and they go on dates. harry knows that the 'girl' he is dating isn't really a girl, but doesn't know it's Severus. Severus allows himself to be pulled into the other man's pace enjoying the attention he's never really gotten.


	15. detention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Harry/Neville, Severus  
Tag: potion gone wrong, mpreg

What are we doing again?

Oh right.

Detention. ‘Stupid Gryffindors’ Professor Snape made us do extra potion lessons. Dinner in the great hall. Then Detention.

Detention.

Neville and I were working on a potion. And he messed it up. I know that’s why all three of us are acting peculiar, but we just can’t help it. What was the potion again? A fertility potion, I think. Before Professor Snape could find an antidote all three of us were frantically seeking each other out.


	16. the issues with age

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Severus/Harry  
Tags: Bottom Severus, mature

He’s grabbing my hips again. Pulling me- yanking me back onto him.

“I’m not done yet.” He says greedily. He bites my shoulder dominantly and submissively I accept my role. 

It’s not that I mind the rough sex. I even enjoy it- secretly of course. The issue is simply the age gap. My body simply doesn’t ‘recover’ as quickly as my eager lovers does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was going to be one of my few funny stories all about the issues an older man has with having a younger male lover.


	17. draco

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Severus/Draco, Severus/Harry, Severus/Draco/Harry

One wand raised against another. And I don’t care what the outcome is. I never really did. I use the commotion to slip away undetected because there are other places I need to be right now. If I hurry. Maybe I can get to him in time. 

His throat is profusely bleeding and I’m not sure if there is even still time, but that thought doesn’t have time to float through my mind. I get to work. The potions he made and ordered that I always carry with me are still in my pocket. I remember the day he gave them too me.

‘Draco. It is always important to cover your exits. If the dark lord uses Nagini to attack you, then this should save you.’ One potion to stop the bleeding. One potion to stop the venom. And then I was to go into hiding until this war ended. I remember his fingers curling around his wand as he waved his hand in an elaborate motion and said the incantation for the potion that I am now using to try to save his life.

I think his hands were the first thing I fell in love with.

They were the only hands that ever really showed me any compassion.

“Please survive” I whisper under my breath. He’s at least breathing. His body hasn’t shut down yet at least. I’m sorry that I couldn’t come sooner. His dark hair is matted to his forehead, slick with perspiration. His lips are parted as he struggles around every breath. “I need you to survive.” He always told me to cover my exits. Protect myself first. I remember asking him why he didn’t brew an antidote for himself.

I remember his tight smile and forced reassurance. I don’t remember his answer though because even then, I knew it was a lie. He never intended to survive this war. And I knew at that moment that I would do anything to give him a life after the dust settled. 

Uncorking the small vial, I pour it directly into his mouth and I take the second and pour it over the still bleeding wound. 

“Draco.” It’s not the voice of the man in my arms. Turning and giving my strongest glare I can muster, I stare through the blasted boy who lived. “What are you doing.” Channeling the venom that Severus is known for, I raise my wand at Potter. 

“Potter. Go down and celebrate your victory. Don’t make me your enemy.” I know I couldn’t defeat him. Especially since it looks as though the dark lord lost to that insufferable Potter. I know that I could not win in a duel. 

“Draco. What are you doing.” The tone is neutral but it only pisses me off more. Raising my wand to aim directly at Potter’s face, I muster my most confident tone.

“He did his part. Now leave us.” My voice thunders impressively. I’ll protect you. I promise. I know I can’t defeat Potter. Especially since the dark lord couldn’t. I know that I could not win in a duel, but I don’t care. He will not touch Severus. “Leave!” I shout again. We will leave together or we will both fall.

A raspy breath cuts through the silence. Thank Merlin. Salazar. The founders. And God if he exists. I don’t want to move him, but he can’t stay here. Neither of us can. He needs medical attention and more potions. The wound needs thorough cleaning.

“He’s breathing.” Potter steps closer and I protectively hold Severus tighter. Potter has always been a wild card.

“I’m not going to let you hurt him!” I will not be able to win in a fight. My instincts are saying run and save yourself, but doing so would doom Severus so my instincts are going to have to die.

“Snape was loyal to the light. Why are you helping him?” He’s looking at me with eyes that clearly are accusing me of being a threat to the man in my arms. As if I would ever be a threat to Severus. 

“Because I’m loyal to Severus. I don’t care about this war. I don’t care who wins. I just want Severus to be happy. So, have me arrested. Don’t. I don’t care, but you are not going to put him through anymore!” I feel like a child throwing a tantrum. If I can just muster up enough confidence Potter will not know how shaken I am.

“Do you have a plan then to help him. I don’t think the aurors will believe that the man who killed Dumbledore was secretly a spy for the light- even if I vouch for him. You know he wouldn’t survive in Azkaban in his condition.” He’s biting his thumb. “The only place I can think to bring him is Grimmauld place. But it’s not exactly in good shape and I don’t know how well he will manage there. It’s also not exactly a secret from the order. He wouldn’t be safe there long.” I don’t know Potter’s motives right now so I’m hesitant to trust him.

“I don’t need your help Potter.” I apply more pressure to Severus’s bleeding neck. Hold on just a bit longer till I get rid of him.

“Draco. I want to help him. He’s done so much for me. The least I can do is help him until I can clear his name. I know you don’t like me, but if you want Severus to live, then you do need my help. No one will trust your word that Severus was loyal to Dumbledore and was just following orders. But they might believe me with time and with time I’ll be able to get evidence.”

I don’t need his help.

But Severus does. And I’m not going to be able to get him to safety on my own. If Potter betrays us though then the safe place I’ve created will be compromised. No, this is Potter after all. Foolishly stupid, but not untrustworthy. He doesn’t have it in him to be crafty. 

“If you can help me lift him up, I have a place that he will be safe at. We can apparate there.” I will work with Potter only for Severus. He’s breathing for now, but he will need more healing. He will need a safe place to rest. And unfortunately I’ll need help

Silently, Potter goes to Severus’s other side and together we slowly lift his heavy body. “Do you even know how to apparate?” I only give Potter a look before the uncomfortable pull of apparition takes over. We stagger ungracefully, but I was successful. Great Severus’s lessons were a success we aren’t spliced.

This house is much more modest than Malfoy manner, but it is untraceable and most important a secret. Potter shuffles in time with me to the nearest bedroom and together we lay the unconscious man in the bed. He limply sinks into the plush mattress. 

“I have some supplies of potions. I should have some to relieve his pain. That’s all we can really do for now though. Stay here with him. I will be back momentarily.” I don’t want to leave Potter with Severus who can clearly not defend himself. But I don’t have many options. 

If I feel like Potter may betray us, I’ll ambush him if I need to.

I’m not going to tell Potter how thoroughly I prepared for this outcome. Always cover your exits. 

I always knew where Severus’s loyalties really lied. It never mattered. Because I knew where my loyalties lied. All of my memories have Severus in them. He was named my godfather. He treated me like the son he never had. He was open with me. He was honest. He was loving and nurturing. Supportive. I’m sure in many ways he believes I view him as a pseudo father.

I fell in love with his hands first. That was the first thing I really started looking at inappropriately. The way his hand would elegantly curl around his wand, I would fantasize that he would grip me just as beautifully. Yes, my thoughts were very inappropriate. 

The way his nose wrinkles when he laughs. It’s more seldom that one would see a unicorn, but those few times. I knew I would want nothing else.

“It’s going to be okay Severus. This will help with the pain. You are safe. You only have to rest.” I say to him gently. I don’t know if he can really hear me. Hiding all of my fears and sharpening my tone to an edge, I turn to Potter. “You can leave now.”

“I’m not going to leave until I know he will be okay.” I think my eye just twitched.

“He could be unconscious for days or weeks.” He may never wake up. 

“You can’t take care of him by yourself.” How dare he. I have always taken care of him by myself. Begging him to eat regularly. The only person who has ever put him first. Tending to him after the worse of the death eater meetings. 

“I can manage just fine.”

“I’m not leaving Draco. I could have turned you both in to the aurors, but I didn’t. Don’t think for a second that it’s you I trust, but I just want to help Snape. It’s the least I can do for everything he’s done for me.”

“If you really want to help then leave. You’ve done enough damage.”

“I never did anything to him.”

“You imbecile. You did everything to him. Because of you, he could never rest. Because of you, he was always in danger.” I hated how Severus’s eyes were always on Potter. Oh I know full well why. Potter’s mother was the only person who ever showed any affection to Severus. And he in a fit of humiliation and rage called her a mudblood. She never really forgave him. Then he gave the dark lord the prophecy not knowing that it would be her son that was targeted. He has done everything since to make up for his mistake. 

Every day. Every moment. Under so much stress and self hate that he was constantly sick. Oh I remember. I remember seeing him curled up in the middle of his dirty bathroom floor. Living in a home where he was beaten for things he could not control. Severus doesn’t know that I know everything. He doesn’t know that I’ve seen his memories. He doesn’t know that I decided I would not abandon him the way _she_ abandoned him. Potter has certainly done enough.

And I hate him for it. I hate the way Severus is always looking at him. First year when Potter joined the quidditch team. Severus never took his eyes off him during that first game. Always in the shadows protecting someone that was never even thankful.

“Then let me make up for it now.” 

“Shouldn’t you be counting the death toll or something.”

“As soon as the final battle finished, I told Hermione that I was going to check Snape. I didn’t think he would still be alive, but I didn’t want an auror to disrespect his corpse. She’ll cover for me if she needs too.”

I scoff at him. “Surely you want to know which of your friends died.” He’s silent for a moment.

“I’ve seen enough death for one day. There isn’t anything I can do for those that are dead, but I can help Severus get better and live.” I can’t argue with him even though I’d really like to. He looks around and I ignore him to make sure that Severus is as comfortable as possible. “Where is this place.”

“That’s something I’m not going to tell you. What’s the point of a secret home if other’s know about it.”

“Okay then. Why do you have a place like this.”

“You may find it hard to believe Potter, but I never particularly wanted to follow the dark lord. I knew that Severus wasn’t loyal to him, and I’m only loyal to Severus.” I tucked back a small fortune. Not enough where my father would ever really notice or care, but enough to buy this small modest home. I spent years preparing it for the inevitable need. Clothes that are both Severus’s size and his taste. I set him up a nice enough room up stairs down the hall from my own. Downstairs in the basement is a potions lab filled with books and ingredients. It’s modest when compared to Malfoy manner, but it is suitable for our needs and survival. 

For now though, I should undress him, clean and wrap up the injuries and redress him in something not stained with blood. I exhale. He’s so much larger than me. It’s going to be difficult to undress him myself and I don’t feel comfortable casting spells on him with all the potions inside of him.

“Go into the bathroom down the hall, there should be a first aid kit. Get it and bring it back here. Then get some warm water and a rag. I’m going to get him some fresh clothes.” Do it for Severus. “I’m going to need your help to undress him enough to take care of his injuries. For now, you can stay but if you do anything to put him in danger, then I’ll kill you.” He doesn’t respond to my threat and only gets to following the orders I gave him. I don’t dawdle and quickly return with clothes Severus wouldn’t be ashamed to wear.

Potter carefully lifts him while I remove his robes. Once he is bare chested, I begin the work of wiping him free of blood and sweat. I’m so caught up in my task that it takes me several minutes to realize that Potter is blatantly looking at the scared chest of the man in our care. Anger is bubbling up, but I force it down.

“Have some sense of modesty and look away.”

“There are so many scars.” Of course there is you nitwit. Abuse. Punishments. Scars happen.

“Draco.” All anger vanishes. It’s not Potter’s grating voice.

“Severus, you’re awake.”

“Water. Please.” His voice is cracking. I take the rag and lightly press against his injured neck.

“I’m sorry, you can’t drink anything right now. The potion needs to be given ample time to heal you and letting you drink anything could interfere.”

“Please. Water.” He croaks again. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I wish I could. I hate seeing you distressed.

“Please just try to rest.” It’s much more difficult to redress him. Potter seems almost reluctant to touch him. He’s clearly out of sorts…

_But I’m just glad he is somewhat conscious._

“Draco.”

“What Potter.”

“Can I speak with you.” He’s not going to accept a refusal. Both of us step out of the room after I cover Severus. I lean against the door as if that could possibly stop Potter from getting past. Unfortunately despite my façade, I’m fully aware that he would win against me should he put up a fight.

“You love him.”

“I have no idea of what you are insinuating.”

“I can tell from the way you were looking at him. When you were wiping him down. When you were giving him the potions. You love him.”

“Well naturally. He is a fine teacher as well as my godfather. Hard as it may be to believe, Slytherins do have emotions.”

“That’s not what I mean. You don’t like him like that. I love Ron, but I don’t look at him like you were looking at Snape. You really love him.”

“And.” Muster all the confidence I can. “Am I not permitted to love who I please. Or the idea of standing so close to a poof turning your stomach?”

“No! It’s not that.” He seems unusually flustered. He’s pacing and it’s making me uncomfortable. “I’m not against being gay…” He laughs awkwardly. “Actually, I’m really okay with it.” He’s pacing faster. “I mean, I don’t want to be a hypocrite.” 

“Potter.”

“Only Hermione knows. Other than her, I never even told Ron. I mean he’s my best friend. He’s attractive enough, but I’m not interested in him like that and I didn’t want him to feel different around me. I didn’t know how well he would take to me coming out. Hermione has a cousin who’s gay, and she seemed accepting, so I was able to come out to her, but not to anyone else yet.”

“Potter, I don’t know what you are insinuating, but I’m not interested in you.” He nods, not at all deterred.

“I think I may like Snape.” Bastard. As if you have the right to like him.

“And why would you think that Potter.” I drip venom with my tone.

“I’ve always felt strange around him.” He pauses. “I thought maybe I hated him because he was so foul to me, but the more I think about it- I think it’s actually the opposite.”

“Then please. Feel free to confess your puppy love to him.” I cross my arms. “I have no intention of telling him of my own infatuation with him.”

“Why not.”

“I’ve never had any intention of pursuing a relationship with him. All I want is to remain close to him. That is good enough for me.”

“Why do you love him.” He asks me. I don’t hear any hint of malice or judgment. He appears honestly curious. I’ve never told anyone. It seems almost sacrilegious to tell him, but also the idea of getting these thoughts out of my head and into words is a luxury I’ve never had.

“He’s intelligent. Powerful. Funny even- if you enjoy a dry humor. I find him completely attractive.” Yes, there is all that. “He has always been near, all my life. His loyalty is heartbreaking. His self-worth is minuscule making me want to do all that I can to give him any safety and happiness that I can. I’ve loved him for the majority of my life.”

“Is he even gay?”

“I don’t think he is or isn’t. I don’t believe he has any interest in romantic adventures at all. He has been pursued before by both man and woman, but he has turned everyone down. I believe some of it may have been his desire to keep his real loyalties a secret though.” He stays silent. “Potter, do whatever you please. If he manages to agree to someone’s tender affections then I will wish them both well. I only want Severus to be happy.”

“He might could be happy with you.” I raise an eyebrow at him and he laughs. “You really have spent a lot of time with him.”

“I care more of making sure I preserve my relationship with him and that I do not taint it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can you tell I was fond of this idea


	18. behind bars

I hear voices. No. Maybe I only think that I hear voices. I’ve either been here for years or hours and I’m not really positive where here is anymore. Or who I am. Or whose voice that is. If it even is a voice. It could be a memory. Or a shimmer of hope not yet crushed, but ultimately, I hear something. 

The voice or memory- I’m not sure- sounds angry. I can feel the rage even though it’s to dark to see. Something icy touches my skin and it burns. Then I’m being carried. Carried by someone much stronger than I am. Someone who doesn’t struggle to maintain my weight. The little that I have. And I try to not beg the being holding me so very securely. Please. Please kill me. Please put this insanity to an end because I do not know what waits for me outside of these bars. 

The floating creatures that devour my sanity seem to mock me. They do not bother following because they know there is nothing left for them to eat. I have no memories left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> really just a vague idea at this point


	19. Speak to me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Neville/Severus

He’s a scary bloke, but the way he talks is beautiful. Sometimes. Sometimes I feel like he’s only talking to me. Then he realizes that I’m not paying attention to the actual lesson and becomes angry. I can’t help that I’m too busy listening to the real words he is saying. He is a scary bloke though. If not by first year, then definitely by second… I was obsessed with him.

Fear to a certain extent, but that only overshadows the darker truth. I am sexually aroused by my unattractive and possibly evil potions teacher. Third year is when I first suspected that there was more to him, fourth I knew for a fact.

In a lot of ways, we are not so different. Neither of us are particularly good with people. I understand him. I understand the words he doesn’t say. And there is so much he doesn’t say.

Lemongrass (used for medicine) can mean homosexual love

Fungi (loneliness)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to do an entire story of Neville and Severus talking to each other in flower language, maybe leaving plants for each other to represent something for themselves.


	20. request

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Severus/Harry  
Tags: noncon/dubcon, bottom severus, mature

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there are many versions of this. Many years ago someone asked me to write a story, and I've struggled to find the right level of noncon/dubcon that I need. I have three versions none are complete and this is just one of them. I believe this is the most noncon of all of them.

His thighs and ankles are bound together tightly. Knees are bent and pressed into the soft mattress while wrists are bound to the frame of the bed. Pale snowy skin contracts with the black silk sheets. He’s not conscious, but I don’t need him to be. My fingers are stretching his insides. Already he has three inside of him. As it stands, I’ve fingered him many times already. Each night as his limp body rests and heals, I’m slowly exposing his body to my touch.

Severus has been living with me for about two months now. I imagine in another few days, he will finally wake up. I had to place him in a healing coma due to all of his injuries. With the war over, most of my friends returned to Hogwarts to finish their last year. I decided that there were better ways to spend my time. I gave Ron and Hermione an excuse that I needed time. What I really needed was a nice tight ass to train. 

It really wasn’t difficult to transfer my ex professor to my safe house. My safe house being a house I purchased when I was a second year. I had to break a couple laws, but no one knows about this unassuming house in this quiet muggle neighborhood. Charming myself to look older. Faking identification. It was all worth it. I had some galleons exchanged for muggle money and bought the house outright. Severus’s body ‘went missing’ the night of the final battle. And I plan for it to stay that way. Severus is healing nicely. The scar on his neck is fading and with the use of magic I’m sure no permeant damage will persist. 

I took it a step further though. I cast several strong charms on him and the house. He cannot leave it without my permission. That was for general protection. The more exciting one, deals with his future use. But, I’ll let him figure that out for himself. Ultimately, I intend to keep Severus. I believe in doing so, it will benefit both of us.

I’m sure I could have found someone more accommodating. Someone more submissive. That isn’t what I want though. I want someone who will fight me and resist me. I want someone who will hiss out abusive comments. I want someone untrained and inexperienced. In truth. I’ve wanted Severus for a long time. 

The first night, I bathed him and washed his hair. I checked him for any sexually transmitted diseases. I have little desire to wear a condom with my pet, but one must always be careful. I found out that night that Severus was a virgin. I felt like the cat who caught the canary. Severus being untouched was nothing short of the biggest turn on. I filed that thought away with full intent of using it later. 

Severus is still healing, but gentle stretching is fine. In fact. It’s necessary. Rape isn’t really alluring to me. I want him to actively desire everything I do to him. Part of that is to train his body while he’s unconscious to enjoy my touch. Part of that is helping his body become familiar with my fingers stretching him. Familiar with the way I stroke him. Suck him. 

I desire to thrust into his virgin channel and thoroughly claim him, but I want to see his face as he realizes that I’m the one making him a ‘man’. Instead, I’ve spend my evening kneeling over him. Grinding against him. Jerking off in front of his face. I’ve splattered my cum over him often. Letting it mix with his own release. Once he’s conscious, I’d love for him to see how lovely he looks dirtied with his own lust. 

It’s several days before he’s healed enough for the coma to end. He’s groggy and confused. 

“I’m so glad that you are awake Severus.” 

“Potter. Where am I.” His eyes are trying to adjust to the light. To out of it to even realize how nude he is.

“You are in my home. I defeated Voldemort two months ago and brought you here to safety so that you can recover.”

“Your home…” His eyes squeeze shut for a moment. 

“Yes. I’ve been taking care of you. I was afraid that you would be thrown in Azkaban. I’ve been speaking of your innocence and trying to get you resolved of your crimes. I haven’t had much luck yet. Everyone thinks you are dead.” His eyes squint in confusion.

“You’ve been hiding me. Potter, you could get in a lot of trouble for that. I did in fact commit crimes, and if I am found guilty, then I am prepared to carry out whatever punishment is decided.” I was afraid he’s say that.

“I’m aware. I imagined that you would feel that way, but instead. I decided to make you mine.”

“What?”

“Severus. You belong to me. I’m the strongest wizard in existence, and to say it simply, I’m going to make you my pet.”

“Has your brain finally imploded, you aren’t making sense.”

“I’m making perfect sense. Severus, I’m going to turn you into my personal sex toy. As such, you are forbidden to leave this house.” At this point, Severus realizes how exposed he is and how restrained he is. “If you are that insistent on being punished, then think of this as your punishment for being a git all those years. But I will not allow anyone other than me to harm you.”

“This is not funny. Why am I restrained and where are my clothes?” He growls. I smile at him.

“This isn’t a joke. I decided that I do not want my pet hiding his body from me. Unless I give you clothes, you are to go without them.”

“Potter. Release me now.”

“Even if I did, you couldn’t go anywhere. I’m much smarter than you ever gave me credit for. Severus, I’ve placed several spells on you. You can’t leave this house. You are physically unable to. You are physically unable to harm me or cast spells that would affect the ones I’ve placed on you. My entire life I’ve been told who I am. What I have to do. Well Severus, I decided that I didn’t like that. You see, I’ve always preferred being the dominant one. I decided that I wanted you. And I’m going to have you.”

“Yes. But it is your word against the boy who lived. Who do you think they will believe? Not that it matters, you aren’t physically able to leave my home. But trust me Severus. You will be much happier as my toy. You will not have to work or be judged by anyone. You can spend your days reading or brewing potions. You don’t have to deal with annoying students. The only thing I ask is for the use of your body. And since it will be mutually satisfying, that is hardly a sacrifice on your part.”

“You’re insane.” 

“No. Not insane. Now, I think I’ll break in your body now. When was the last time you’ve had sex Severus?”

“None of your fucking business. Release me.” 

“Severus, I need to know how experienced you are. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I said none of your fucking business.” His wrists are bound above his head while his legs are bound together and forced in a bent position. It’s an easy task to press his knees to his abdomen. “Potter. Don’t do this. You aren’t a rapist. You don’t want me.”

“That’s ludicrous Sev. Of course, I want you. I’ve wanted you since you humiliated me first year. You’ll feel good Severus. I’ll make sure of that.”

“I don’t want this!” He screams. He calms down when I release his legs.

“I understand Severus.” In the table by the bed I grab a bottle of pills. Taking out two I replace the bottle. “Here. This’ll help Sev. Open up.” His eyes widen fractionally as his mouth clamps shut. I only smile and lift his legs. “Good boy. These will slide in easily now.” The first is inside before he can resist. I give it a moment before I ease the second inside. I don’t pull my fingers out. Instead I use them to press the pills in as deep as I can. “You ass is so hot that they are melting fast.”

“What did you put inside me?!”

“Just something to make you more willing. I won’t give it to you every time. I don’t want you becoming depended on it.”

“Take them out. You can’t do this.” He says frantically.

“Calm down Severus. Your ass has eaten them up almost completely. See your body is already reacting. It seems your tolerance is low. One might have been enough.” He’s panting. 

“I don’t want this.” His erection is twitching and he’s already leaking precum. When I push my fingers deeper inside of him he keens softly. 

“Severus, what is not to want? You’ll feel good. Are you not interested in having sex with a man?” My fingers brush against the bundle of nerves inside of him and I’m pleased when I hear him moan. “You’re so soft inside Severus. Have you been playing with this spot a lot? That’s the only way you’d be this soft. And you are taking my fingers so easily.”

“No. I don’t. Stop.” His words are sounding weaker.

“Do you want to feel good Severus. Do you want to cum.”

“Potter. Stop this. Please.” His face is red, he’s no longer fighting the restraints.

“Severus. I’m going to make you a sex toy. Your body is going to become intimate with receiving pleasure from me. I think you are prepared enough. I just can’t wait anymore Severus. Are you ready for me to take you?”

“No.” He whines. “You can’t. I’ll break. I’ve never. You can’t. I’ve never had anal sex before.”

“Nonsense Severus. You aren’t a virgin.” He’s breaking down. No longer hiding or cover up his panic, his voice is higher and frantic.

“Yes, I am! You are going to rip me.” I push inside in one thrust. He screams breathlessly followed by a throaty moan.

“Feels good right. And you aren’t ripping.” I thrust shallowly inside him as I grab his hips. “So hot and tight. Just as hot and tight as you were last night.”

“What…?”

“I’ve already taken your virginity Severus. The battle, was two months ago. I’ve had you many times Severus.”

“You raped me in my sleep.”

“Of course not Severus. I own you. You are my possession, as your master, I decided that it was important to expose my pet’s body to pleasure. Just look at you now Severus. Your cock is leaking and you are taking every thrust happily.”

“You drugged me!” I suck lightly on his jaw line.

“No Severus. I’m already inside you, so I might as well tell you the truth. Those two pills were nothing more than sugar pills. I gave you a placebo. I wanted you to have something to blame your arousal on. And it worked. With the blame off of you, you could hardly help being aroused. But this is all you Severus. You got hard having me finger you. Just admit that you are needy and I’ll make you blind with pleasure.” I’m moving slowly enjoying how my foreskin is being pulled back. My hand cups his cheek. “I really don’t want to hurt you Severus, but, I’m going to use you as I please. I’d much rather you consent, but I’m not opposed to forcing you if I must.”

“No more! It hurts!”

“Shh. Calm down Severus. You like it. You like being used Severus.”


	21. unspeakable punishment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is the second version of the previous story idea. In this one Harry is probably the least dark and noncon of the three versions I created.   
Pairing: Severus/Harry  
Tags: Mature, dubcon, forced submission, bottom Severus, virgin Severs.

Sev POV:

Even the best laid plans can fail if one miscalculates. I miscalculated. 

It’s evening. I’m not sure of the exact time, but the sun set before I was retrieved. “This way Professor.” A pause. “Severus.” Definitely miscalculated. “This will be your room. I had an elf from the school pack up your belongings.” There is a single box on the bed. “This is all they could retrieve. The ministry confiscated the rest, but I’m sure whatever they took we can replace.” I didn’t have much to take. “I didn’t look at anything.” He’s trying to assure me. I hardly care. “I’ll leave you to it then.” The door closes. I’m wearing nothing more than a dirty thin hospital gown. 

It’s been over two years since the war ended. The ministry didn’t quite know what to do with me. Between killing Albus Dumbledore and protecting the precious ‘boy who lived’. My case was too complex to easily be sorted out. I spent what must have been a life time in Azkaban. When not there, I was in St Mungo’s. My crimes- though proven to be justifiable- were too heinous to be forgiven. The golden boy though insisted upon my innocence. Thus I was undeserving of the dementor’s kiss. Every punishment concocted was either too harsh or lenient. Dumbledore’s journals came forth, and with it, more evidence of my innocence. The old codger. Him writing of his orders for me to kill him. No one could deny it. Especially with him signing it with his magical signature.

I know very little of my own case. I only know that Potter spoke on my behalf. It was decided that I would keep my life, but not much else. Pity, the only thing I would have been happy to lose. I was stripped of my magic, and for further humiliation, I am now a servant to the great hero. Servant. I would laugh if it were not so degrading. Slave more like. The collar around my neck is proof of that. Of course I would be forced to spend the rest of my days as a magicless squib bound into servitude to a hero. His spoils of war no doubt.

The dirty cloth covering me itches. I would kill for clean clothes, but there are none in the box of what use to be my possessions. My stomach flips at the knowledge that he had to give me what was already mine. He isn’t the enemy though. I was the one who agreed to the fool’s plan. Kill the headmaster. ‘Betray’ the light. Keep ‘the boy who lived’ alive so that he could end the war. So that Lily’s child would live. I succeeded in everything. Except. The plan was to die. I know my mistake.

I let myself become too vulnerable in what should have been my final moments. I was going to die. I did not see the harm in marveling at how green his eyes are. I did not see the harm in marveling at how kind they were. Just like hers. Once he saw my memories, he pitied me no doubt. He went back to my body and resuscitated me. I’m not sure how he kept me alive. When I woke the war was over and the light was victorious. Two years have passed since the war. Two years of my life gone to Azkaban and unconsciousness.

There is so little in this box. A few photos. A journal. My wand. The officials left me my wand. I suppose with no magic; it is no more than a well-crafted stick. It is as useful a gun without bullets. Still. I can’t bring myself to discard of this useless stick. It has been with me for so long. It has watched me as I healed and injured alike. It has been with me as I invented spells and potions. It has been with me both in company and while friendless. It’s no use to me now, but even so I will not discard it. It seems like once again- it is one of my few possessions. For now, I tuck it under what will be called my pillow. He said this will be my room. It’s nice as far as jell cells go. 

A part of me wants to cower in this room until he retrieves me, but I am not a child anymore. I leave the room steading my breathing. I will not show any weakness. Not to anyone least of all him. 

The house is suitable in size. As much wealth as his parents and that mutt left him, he could easily afford a place five times this size. It’s also in a muggle neighborhood. The rooms feel lived in. It is relatively clean, but I can tell that he is comfortable in this dwelling. I walk into the kitchen and he’s standing beside the stove. There is a small table a few steps from him. He turns when he hears me.

“Oh Severus. Have you settled in?” There was not much to settle in. “Are you hungry, I made soup.” I can’t remember the last time I ate. “I’m actually pretty good. I did most of the cooking growing up.” I continue to stand by the door. “You are still wearing that? Did the elves not pack any clothing.” I hardly know what question to answer first. “Please. Sit down.” I do as I’m instructed not out of desire to obey, but because the collar insists that I do. I try not to become sick at that notion. 

His hair is out of sorts. He looks so much like his father that I want to gouge out my eyes so that I don’t have to see that mocking smile. The eyes keep me restrained. They remind me that I’m not a slave to James Potter, but to his son. His son who has already proven to be much kinder- though equally misguided.

“Tomorrow you and I will go and get you everything else you need. Including clothes. I don’t have a house elf.” He sets a bowl of thick soup and a spoon in front of me. “I know that you are angry at being stripped of you magic, but there is nothing I can do about that. Maybe with time we can find a way to give it back to you. At least I live in a muggle neighborhood though. No one will give you sideways glances.” He exhales slightly. “Severus, I have not dealt with the magical community since the war ended- aside from your trial. I didn’t even return to Hogwarts to finish up my seventh year.” He sits down across from me with his own bowl. I wait until he’s taken several bites before I also begin to eat. “The only people from the magical world that come here are Ron and Hermione, and even they don’t come that often. Kind of to be expected with them starting their family.”

I observe his face. It’s older than I remember it. Two years will do that. He’s not a child. Many would consider him a man. I don’t know how I feel about this person with James Potter’s face and Lily’s eyes. I never really knew him personally. I was just always to busy trying to keep him alive to find out what kind of person he is. Things have changed.

“So let’s address the hippogriff in the room alright? I know you hate that you are bound to me. So, I will just come out and say everything that I expect from you.” He brings another spoonful to his lips. “That collar already makes it where you cannot lie to me, and where you have to follow direct orders. As you’ve already seen, I’m going to call you by your first name, and I expect you to call me by mine. We are going to be around each other for the remainder of our lives, we should attempt to get along.” He’s talking easily with me. I’m sure with the memories he’s seen that he would not fear me any longer.

“What exactly will my tasks entail?” He tilts his head at my question.

“For the most part, we will live as roommates. Some days you might cook and some days I might. We can take turns doing chores. I will not be ordering you to shoulder the brunt of the housework if that’s what you are asking. If you want to read, there’s a library with many books. If you need something, you can just ask. I want you to feel comfortable here.” His spoon dips into the thick mixture. His eyes are closed while he smiles gently at me. “The only real change to your routine is that, you are not allowed to be intimate with anyone aside from me. This includes any form of masturbation.” My spoon falls from my hand. I had to have misheard.

“What was that?” The words do not sound like they came from my vocal cords.

“You are only permitted to feel pleasure when I deem fit.” The smile is gone and his eyes are open. He’s not joking. “It’s only fair Severus. I can’t exactly take a muggle lover. The minute they see me living with a man- wearing a collar no less- they would think that I’m cheating on them, and I don’t have interest in being with someone from the magical world. Say what you will, but I really don’t have interest in being with a starry-eyed fan of ‘the boy who lived.’ If I can’t be intimate with anyone, then neither can you, that really only leaves each other.”

“You can’t be serious!”

“Oh, but I am. It’s a pretty fair trade actually. You get to live with my protection. No one will harm you or say a word against you. You can spend your days doing whatever you desire. With the exception that I will be the sole place that you receive pleasure. You can think of us as lovers if it makes you feel better. I do not have interest in finding a partner elsewhere anyways.”

“This is insane!” The smile returns. 

“You cannot cum unless I give you verbal permission. That’s really my only order.”

“I am… double your age. I was your teacher.”

“You are a man. And now so am I. I’m not your student. I’m not the boy who lived. I’m just Harry. Your roommate that occasionally wants to do naughty things with you. I can assure you though. We will both enjoy it.” 

“You are not being serious.” The smile is gone as quickly as it came.

“Yes I am Severus. I will be intimate with you.” When I don’t respond, he exhales loudly. “Severus, I know you don’t hate me.” I don’t reply. I can’t lie to him. “I don’t know the extent of what you feel for me, but I want to make this clear. I know that my dad was an asshole to you, and I know that you cared for my mom- I don’t know to what extent and I don’t want to know. I’m not my dad, and I’m not my mom. I don’t want you hating me because of my dad or liking me because of my mom. I’m neither of them.”

“I’m aware of that.”

“I can’t be with anyone else as long as you are bound to me, and I get the impression that you haven’t been intimate with someone for a very long time. I know for a fact that it’s been at least two years.”

“Longer.” I bite my tongue. Why did I supply that information? He didn’t ask. I should not have said anything. 

“Severus, answer my two questions. Is your main issue because I am male and how long exactly has it been?” My mouth feels dry as the leather around my neck warms. 

“Gender matters very little to me.” The discomfort eases some, but still the collar encourages me to answer the other question. “Could you elaborate on your question? When you ask how long it’s been what extent do you mean?”

“Well, let’s start with the most obvious. Penetrative sex.” I can’t lie to him and he knows it. 

“I have not at this point in my life engaged in sexual intercourse.” I force my features to be empty while I wait for the laughter that doesn’t come. All he does is nod.

“Fair enough. Oral sex then. Either giving or receiving.”

“I have not at this point in my life engaged in fellatio.” Though his eyes widen, he again only nods. 

“Heavy fondling then. Being jerked off or jerking and or fingering someone.”

“I have not at this point in my life…”

“Severus.” Face still devoid of emotion, I look at him. “Do you have any experience whatsoever in an intimate setting.”

“When I was a third year at Hogwarts I had a relationship.” The collar burns me when I don’t supply the information that the person was male.

“And?”

“It lasted about a month. In that time, we kissed three times. The last of which included tongue.” It’s not lost of me how pathetic it sounds. 

“How did the relationship end?” His brows are furrowed. 

“Someone questioned them and…” I do not like talking about this. Giving myself a quick moment, I close my eyes. “I was very much infatuated with him, but he was a Gryffindor and his friends did not like me. So we agreed to keep the relationship a secret. I agreed. I knew that he was ashamed of being in a relationship with me, but he was the first… only person to ever express any level of interest in me. His friends questioned him because they noticed that he was not harassing me like most of the other Gryffindors and… well. He chose his friends.” 

“I’m sorry.” I want to say that it doesn’t matter. I want to say that it was just a stupid playdate between two brats. I want to say that it never bothered me. I want to say that I was happier when it ended. I want to say that it didn’t hurt. I want to say that I never loved him. I want to say that I never cried over it. I want to say it’s fine. But I can’t lie to him.

“These things happen. It was a long time ago.”

“You don’t have to answer this question if you do not want to, but if you do not mind answering, who was it.” My mouth is dry again. The collar isn’t burning. It’s not encouraging me to answer. I really do have the ability to make this choice. Everything is telling me to take it. A lessor part is saying that he might as well know. 

“It doesn’t really matter who it was. I do not feel the same way for him anymore, and that was a very long time ago.” Practically a lifetime. I half expect him to continue questioning me about the boy, but true to his word, he does not make me tell him. Instead he moves on to the next uncomfortable subject.

“So you are a virgin?”

“Yes. I had chances to lose it, but I declined.” Why am I supplying information?! If he doesn’t ask, say nothing.

“I’m sure you did have chances. You are an attractive man.” My eyes narrow as I wait for him to laugh or smirk… anything. But he doesn’t. “I mean it. I always thought you were attractive.” He’s smiling very softly. 

“How bad are those eyes of yours exactly.” He laughs and some of the tension leaves the room.

“Everyone has different tastes. I’m aware that not everyone shares my sentiments, but I personally find you attractive.”

“It doesn’t have to be me. I won’t interfere with any relationship. Hell. You can order me to wait somewhere else or even just outside. Whoever you dated wouldn’t have to know about me.” Ease back into the real issue. 

“Severus. I have a bit of a confession. I’m a bit of a sadist. I’m a top, and more than that. I’m very possessive of what’s mine. It’s not enough to just be in a relationship with another, I need to own them. I need to use them as I please. I’m sadly not overly masculine, so the men that I’m interested in are only interested in me if I’m a bottom. I’m not though. Everything goes fine until we get to the bedroom then they expect me to bend over for them, and I won’t.”

“What gives you the idea that I’m not dominant as well.” I growl out. He smirks at me.

“You are the most submissive man I think I’ve ever came across. The best part is, you’ve spend your entire life hiding that from everyone including yourself.”

“I have no earthly idea of what you are talking about.” 

“It seems no one else thinks it’s odd that you have had two masters. Two masters that I’d like to remind you, you choose to follow. Much like a favored pet. Though you have a temper, you are always careful about who you unleash it on. If you feel someone is on equal footing as you, then you never lash out except when you have to for outside reasons. If someone is below you, like for example students, then you do not bother with the formalities.”

“I don’t see where you are going with this.”

“I’m saying that subconsciously you’ve been subservient- to people that you felt were dominant- your entire life without realizing it. Now. I just have to get you to understand that you are submissive to me and everything will fall into place.”

“You are completely insane. I always knew that you were an idiot, but this is ridiculous.”

“Severus, Sirius once told me that you knew more curses and hexes your first year than most seventh years.” When I don’t say anything, he continues. “Then why didn’t you ever fight back against my father and the rest of the Marauders. I mean really fight back with the intention of harming them.” I can’t answer. “The way I see it, there are only three possible answers. The first was because it would upset my mother. That one is out because if you were being heavily bullied, as your friend I would think she would want you to stand up for yourself, and if not, when your friendship with her ended, you could have started fighting back, but you never did. So that one is out. The second possibility is that you are a pacifist that doesn’t care for fighting. That one seems unlikely. I’ve seen you duel a few times. You clearly are fine with violence when it’s needed. Everything points to the third possibility. You didn’t because you felt that they had the right to harm you. Because they are more dominant than you. If that isn’t it, it could also be because Dumbledore would have been upset with you. Dumbledore whom was definitely more dominant.”

He grasps my hand and places the spoon back in it then looks down at my bowl. I eat slowly. 

“If you still don’t believe me, then I have something else to bring up. The night of the final battle. I’ll never forget finding you nearly dead.” He drops his spoon and looks at me. I can’t look away. “I saw your conversation with Voldemort. I saw him nearly kill you. I saw that you did not resist in any way. Not against him or Nagini. You let your master do whatever he pleased with you. He decided that it was time to throw you away, and you let him. Because you are submissive. I’ve seen you duel. You’re good. You might not have won, but you didn’t even try.”

“I couldn’t let him know that Draco disarmed Dumbledore and was the one the wand truly obeyed.”

“I know that Draco was there that night that Dumbledore was killed. I know he disarmed the headmaster. No one… not even the dark lord, would find it suspicious for someone to defend themselves when in danger. No matter their loyalties. Draco would not have even crossed his mind.” He’s quiet for a long time. “I’m sorry that you were forced to kill Dumbledore. I know that it was something you did not want to do.” I want to say that it wasn’t difficult. I want to say that it was for the greater good. Instead I remain quiet. “Severus. This is your home now. You do not belong to anyone other than myself. You are not submissive to anyone other than myself. In time, I’m sure you will become use to our arrangement. In fact, you are going to be completely dependent on me.”

“So you plan to rape me.” His eyes widen.

“Of course not! Severus, I’m not going to hurt you. I told you. Think of it as lovers. I will not be finding pleasure with anyone other than you.”

“I can’t very well refuse you, so it might as well be rape.”

“I’m not going to order you to spread your legs for me. The first time we have sex will be because you beg me to take you.” I fight against the color filling my cheeks.

“That is never going to happen.” He frowns slightly. “We are not lovers. I’m your slave. Order me to clean your mess or whatever, but stay away from my pants.”

“Severus, why do you not want to be in a relationship with me. You always have a reason for doing, or not doing something.” His hands are folded together. “Give me one solid reason that I can’t refute and I will not insist on being intimate with you. If you cannot give me a reason, then you will humor me with this relationship. Which includes any naughty ideas I get. As already stated though, I will not enter you until you verbally agree. Is it a deal.” He holds out his hand. I have many reasons why this is a bad idea. Harry does not seem the type to go back on his word, and even if he were, what other choice do I have. I grasp his hand.

“I agree.”

“Alright. Then let’s hear your complaints.” 

“Let’s start with the most obvious. The age difference and the fact that I was your teacher.”

“I prefer older men, and you have not been my teacher in several years. You also are no longer a teacher so, you are not in danger of losing your job if our relationship were discovered. I think that settles my side of it, now for your side. I don’t think it would be over confident of me to say that you find me attractive.” I open my mouth to protest, but the collar warms.

“I’m an ex death eater and you are the boy who lived.”

“We live in a muggle neighborhood. You are Severus and I am Harry.” 

“What about your friends. What would they think.”

“I don’t care. I’ve given my youth to fighting other people’s war. I’m allowed to be happy now. So if Ron and Hermione had a problem with my relationship with you, I wouldn’t care. That being said, they both already know that I’m gay.”

“Your parents then.”

“My parents are dead. Sirius is dead. Remus is dead. My Aunt and Uncle already hate me. I deserve to be happy, and I decided that I want you. I don’t care about anyone else’s opinion of the matter.” He smiles at me. “Just give up Severus.” He stands. “Anything else?” There isn’t. I can’t think of anything other than just general unwillingness. “Then the matter is settled. I will go prepare a shower for you and see if I can find some of my clothes that can fit you. Try to eat some more, I’ll be back shortly to show you where the bathroom is.” He leaves the room and I falter for a moment. 

He fully intends to go through with this. I can’t. No. I have to run away. That’s the only option. While he’s gone, I can escape. If I stay here, then he will violate me. I briskly walk to the door and open it as quietly as I possibly can. Before I can take the first step to freedom, a thin shimmery chain pulls from the collar. When I look to see where it leads, I see a very angry Harry Potter.

“Severus. Where were you going.” It’s not a question. And I can’t lie.

“I do not wish to be in an intimate setting with you so I was attempting to run away.” He’s looking at me as if I were a child refusing vegetables.

“I will have to punish you. Still. I’m sure you’d like a shower. Follow me.” Instead of waiting to see if I listen to his order- as I have to, the small silver chain leading to his hand, tugs me forward. He walks me into the spacious bathroom and begins undressing. “Go on and undress Severus so that we can take a shower.” The shower is large and water jets are suspended from the ceiling. It’s plenty spacious for both of us, but I still hesitate. “It’s alright Severus, undress.” I don’t want to, but I do. He gently pushes me inside and again I hesitate. Against my better judgement, I look down and notice that he is aroused. When I look back up, Harry only smiles. 

I face away from him. I don’t want to see his teasing grin. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see him thoroughly washing himself. The hot water is making my skin turn pink. It’s hard to look away from his well-toned body. I won’t deny that he is attractive. A soapy cloth is pressed against my back. As much as I hate having him touch me so naturally, the soap and hot water feels heavenly. Regardless of the rumors, I have always been very fastidious about cleanliness. Bathing upwards of two and three times a day. I didn’t have that luxury in Azkaban. 

“I can bathe myself.” I state blandly.

“I wasn’t sure. After all, you weren’t moving.” He hands me the cloth and I bathe myself, painfully aware of how actively he’s watching me. 

We step out of the shower sooner than I would like, but the silver chain is already prompting me to follow after him. We are both nude and dripping water through the house. He leads me to my room where he then forces me to lay over the end of the bed. I hate how exposed I am to him right now. I try to close my legs, but his hands push them back open.

A finger presses intimately against my arse hole and my body flushes despite myself. As the muscle is breached, his other hand strokes my hip. “You are doing very well Severus. I’m very proud of you.” The words sound strange in this context. “But I will have to punish you for trying to escape, I expect you to take your discipline like a man.” The fingers press in and out of me several more times. I feel ashamed of being touched in this way, but I feel more shame that a minuscule part of me finds it pleasurable. I have never been touched like this. “Open your legs wider.” I don’t have a choice. The fingers are pulled out of me and I’m equal parts glad to be free of them and distressed at the empty feeling.

I don’t have time to respond when something blunt stretches the muscles and sits itself against my prostate. It’s such an odd feeling to be stretched in such an intimate place. Just as I am getting comfortable with the intrusion, it begins to vibrate. I would complain, but I’m busy biting my tongue. 

“That looks delicious Severus. Sadly, I have to spank you now.” I feel a leather belt come down of my bottom. It’s such a nostalgic feeling. Like when I was a child. My father beat me often. This feels different though. The pain is the same. The stinging on my bare backside is the same. But the hand gently rubbing my back is almost out of place. The calming voice is not what I remember. “I know it hurts Severus. But you are doing well. I’ve very proud of you.” I wince when the leather connects in the same spot. The vibrations tease my protate and though my bottom is stinging, I don’t find the act completely atrocious. “Your ass is so red. It looks delicious.” The sharp pain happens again. “Beautiful.”

He isn’t doing this to be malicious. He’s not even doing this to discipline me. He’s doing this for the perverse joy of it. The leather comes down again and I wince. I don’t squirm because I learned as a child that made the punishment worse. This doesn’t really feel like a punishment though. Yes, it’s painful. Yes, I want it to end. Yes, it’s unpleasant. Still this doesn’t feel like a punishment.

For all the pain, there is a mirrored stimulus as well. The vibrating against my prostate. The gentle palm of his hand comforting me. The belt comes down again with a loud clap. The harder the belt slams down, the gentler he talked to me. He’s nearly whispering now and I want to scream from the pain. I don’t think I’ll be able to sit comfortably for several hours. I will not cry out though. I will not make any sounds. Even if the vibrations are getting more intense. 

“Severus. I want you to remember this. You cannot leave me. Even if I had not come, that collar will not allow you to leave this dwelling without me beside you. I have a lot of plans for you. You will be my pet Severus, that’s something you don’t have a choice over.” One of his hands is rubbing my raw bottom. “I hope that this will be enough of a lesson. Next time, I will not be so gentle.” The toy is pulled out and I hate how my hole twitches. Fingers gloss over my entrance. My body is to achy to fight him, not that I would be able to anyways. Then I feel something wet press intimately inside of me.

“W… What are you doing?!”

“Tasting you.” His mouth is sucking without any hesitancy. It’s difficult to keep my breathing even. I have never been touched in such a way.

“Stop!” I can’t move though. I don’t know if it’s because of his will or the general shock of his actions.

“I don’t think I will. You agreed. As long as I am not penetrating you, it is fair game.” The tongue presses deeper. I hate myself. I hate that my neglected body continues to respond to his unwarranted attentions. I should not be surprised at my arousal. My body has never been exposed to anything like this. “Feels good, doesn’t it?” The collar burns unpleasantly and against my will my mouth opens.

“Yessss.” My voice doesn’t sound like my own. It’s strained…. And _wanting_. The pleasure is painful. On the rare occasion where I do… touch myself, I never last this long. My erection is straining achingly. It hurts. It hurts. And I can’t cum without his permission. This is humiliating. 

“Do you want to finish Severus?” I hate myself for nodding. “Then just beg. Beg and I promise that I will let you.” The collar isn’t burning. I have to make this choice. Beg and finally empty my swollen balls or keep my pride. The tongue continues to work in and out of me. A hand is stroking my abused bottom.

“I… I will not beg.” My voice sounds broken and less sure than I would like. The wet muscle finally leaves.

“Alright.” The word is simple. All stimuli end. “It is very late, I’m sure you are tired and would like to actually sleep in a comfortable bed.” I am tired, but I am leery of admitting that. Is he just going to ignore the fact that his tongue was in my ass. “It’s your choice Severus. Do you want to sleep in my bed with me, or do you want to sleep alone in your own bed?” I can tell that he’s smiling gently. This has to be a test. A trap. But the collar will not let me lie. 

“I do not wish to sleep in your bed. I prefer sleeping alone.” He nods as if already knowing my answer.

“Alright. Well then, let me help get you settled. Don’t move while I get you something to wear.” I’m again reminded that I am naked and exposed to him. My eyes close while I fight the embarrassment away. I have never been what others would call attractive, but Azkaban has ensured my already thin frame to now be reminiscent of a skeleton. I have never liked the idea of being bare in front of another. The knowledge that it is Harry Potter, James Potter and Lily Even’s child, only makes it all the more humiliating.

“I have nothing to wear.” I state blandly. I can still hear him, but I can’t turn. I was instructed to ‘not move’. 

“That’s fine Severus. I have something for you to wear.” I know he’s beside the bed. I can feel a soft weight being laid on my arms and then legs. Still, I cannot move. “I know this really isn’t necessary.” My arms are being moved into a position and fastened that way. Then my legs. “As long as I tell you that you can’t move, you can’t. Still. This black silk looks breathtaking against your pale skin. And it would be embarrassing for you to sleep naked.” He isn’t tying them tight, and if I were allowed to move, then I could easily escape. But I’m not. “Open your mouth Severus.” Just as I follow his request, a strip of the same fabric is pulled against my mouth and tied behind my head. “Just one more thing.” His fingers press against my hole. “I know how shy this place is.” Again, he is sliding something inside of me. At least it’s small. His hand rubs my bottom making sure it’s fully inside. “I know it’s small, but It's very powerful, and it’s set on a timer. Every hour it’ll turn on for about ten minutes. I don’t want you to be bored here alone all night. I’ll see you in the morning Severus.” He kisses my cheek. “Good night.” 

I hear him leave the room. With a click, he flips the light switch and I’m alone in the dark. I never liked the dark. It’s suffocating.

(the night)

“Good morning Severus.” He flicks the light on. I can’t turn to look at him. He’s behind me, I can’t see him. I can’t see what he’s doing. I feel the pressure decrease as the toy is pulled out of me with a muted _pop_. Then he ungags me. “Did you sleep well Severus?” He doesn’t wait for me to answer. Two fingers press into me unabashed. “Wow. Severus, you are so soft here, and your ass just keeps sucking my fingers in.” He’s working them in and out and I want to scream. Instead I bite down on my lip. “You’re wet too. Severus how can you possibly answer my questions biting your lip like that.” _A third finger._ “I expect you to answer me. Did you sleep well?”

“No.” My body chokes out the words even though I try to swallow them down.

“Why not? You were so keen on sleeping alone, I was sure you would have had a very good rest.”

“How could I with your fucked-up desires.” The fingers don’t slow. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Sev. You are clearly aroused, so the night couldn’t have been that bad. Oh! You must be upset because you weren’t able to cum. Is that it.” The collar warms around my neck encouraging me to answer, but I fight it. The fingers are gently slid out. “Answer me now Severus.”

“Yes.” I hate this. I want nothing more than to turn around enough to glare at him. I get half of what I want when he walks in front of me.

“Well, I’ll let you cum, just as soon as you suck me off.” He’s lowering the pajama bottoms and holding his erection at eye level. “Come on now Severus, I can’t tell you how _painful_ it is to be pent up all night just waiting for morning. Open that abusive mouth of yours and show me how good you are at giving head.” Even as I’m resisting my mouth is unlatching. His hand is gently stroking my hair and his voice now sounds much softer. “You do not have to be nervous Severus. Just follow my instructions and you will do fine.”

His hand reaches out and threads through my hair. He gently forces my head to look up at him. Harry’s sliding into my mouth. “Don’t break eye contact. It’s much more arousing when I get to see your eyes cloud with lust.” Salazar this is humiliating. “Now. Use your tongue on the underside of my dick. Just like I like.” The collar isn’t warming, still I follow the instruction. I need to cum. I need for him to release me. I know he’s not above leaving me unsatisfied. “Good. Now suck on just the head and don’t forget to use your tongue.” Both of his hands are on top of my head encouraging me with small motions. His eyes are glazed over, but he never breaks eye contact, and I can’t. “That feels good Severus. I want you to try to relax your throat. For right now, don’t worry about sucking or licking, just relax.” In one motion, he’s pushing most of his erection into my mouth, the surplus slides to the back of my throat. Still, he’s careful to not choke me. Each thrust is deliberate.

“Mmm.” Fuck. No. I don’t need to make sounds. I didn’t mean to.

“That’s it Severus. You are doing so well. Do you like sucking me off?” His thumb is softly rubbing my throat encouraging me to swallow around him. 

“Mmnnmmm” Why does this feel so _right? _

“You look so lovely Severus. It’s alright. There is no shame in feeling pleasure. Don’t fight this. Just do what feels natural.” The collar isn’t burning anymore, but I can’t stop. I need to continue but I want to stop. I shouldn’t be doing this. It’s his fault. It hurts so bad. I need to cum so bad. That’s the only reason I can’t stop myself. “You know it feels really good when you moan around me. If you keep that up, I won’t be able to last.” 

“That’s really disappointing Severus. Alright. Follow me.” The collar forces my legs to move after him. He doesn’t even turn to check. I follow him into one of the rooms. Inside is a single highbacked wooden arm chair. In the seat of it is a rather large sex toy. My legs continue to follow him. He squeezes a bit of lube on the toy and motions for me to sit. It’s not an order though so I don’t. “Severus. You can choose to sit of your own free will or I can make you. I’d rather go with the former personally.” I steady my breathing and begin undressing. Once I’m finished I line the toy up and as confidently as I can slide it inside. 

It’s a stretch and I can feel a light burning. He only smiles encouragingly. “There… it’s… inside.” I’m forcing my breathing to slow.

“Good.” His hands rest on my thighs as he makes sure that I’m firmly seated. He then begins to restrain my ankles to the legs of the chair and my wrists to the arms. It’s not tight though. I can raise up about two inches. Still kneeling in front of me he kisses my inner thigh. “Now. I’ll be back in two hours to see if you’ve learned your lesson. You are allowed to move as much as the binds allow.” He stands up to leave. “Oh. I almost forgot.” He pulls a small remote out of his pocket and presses a button. Immediately the toy starts buzzing and thrusting inside a good three extra inches. Right. Against. My. Prostate. As he’s walking out of the room he sets the remote on the table beside the door. “If the toy is set up to high, feel free to turn it down.” He smirks as he closes the door. Even so. I fight against the restraints. 

It’s unbarable. If not for his stupid order, I’m sure that I would have came several times already. Instead, it thrusts unrestrained and all I can do is endure it. 

“Severus. How are you feeling.” When he comes back he isn’t dressed. 

“I’ve learned my lesson.. I have. Please.” I hate myself for begging. 

“Not yet.” He walks up to me openly stroking himself. Once he’s directly in front of me he kneels down like before and grasps my dick firmly. While stroking it his tongue confidently licks the tip. “I can’t tell you how hot it is having all of your firsts.” He smiles up at me. “Severus, you are wrong.” 

He’s in my lap. 

“I’m doing this for you Severus. So that you can see that it’s not scary. I’ve never bottomed for anyone, but you Severus are special.” He lowers himself slowly. I can tell he’s wincing but the heat tightening around me is unbelievable. He pauses for only a second before he lifts himself and then lowers himself a bit deeper. This continues until he is moveing harsh and fast. “I’m doing this for you Severus. 

He's pulling the leash harder. “Come on Severus. Faster. I’ll never cum with you moving so slow.” I don’t have any choice. 

“This really suits you. Just look at you. You’re riding me. Your cock is leaking everytime you slam down. Have you found your prostate? Is that where you keep making me hit.” When I don’t answer he yanks the leash. “Speak.”

“Yes.”

“How does it feel?” Humiliating. Dirty. Like nothing I have ever felt before. “How does it feel?” He asks gentilier. I flinch when his fingers wrap around my penis. His hands should not be there! Doesn’t he have any semblance of privacy or prudence. 

“Strange.”

“Do you want this to end.” His index fingers is playing with my slit while his other hand is cupping my balls nonchalantly. Even as he thrusts inside of me, his hands massage my shaft softly. 

“Yes. I want it to end.” 

“Then move faster. If you want it to end, you have to make me cum.” When I remain still he smiles innocently up at me. “Go on Severus. Move. You do want me to finish don’t you?” He thrusts his hips up while pulling the leash down. All at once I’m stuffed. “Your body is so responsive. Is it because you are so inexperienced.” His hand releases the leather cord so that they can spread my theighs. “I have a really good view of my cock slamming into your ass. Does it feel good having a man so much younger than you stretching out your virgin cum hole.” 

It's humiliating to be talked to in this way. I want to berate his vulgarity. I want to regain some of my dignity. I can’t seem to stop my body from taking him in. I can’t seem to stop my body from meeting every thrust. I want this as much as I don’t want this. So foreign. So wonderful and awful.

“See. I knew you could do it if you put your mind to it. Your ass is so tight. You really haven’t had anyone break you in.”

“Ughh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Ahhh” To fast. All I can do is let him take me. 

“Look at how widely you’re stretching your legs out. You want me to see don’t you?”

“No. I don’t.” Even so my legs open further. I can’t stop them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really like this version but with three different versions of the story, I probably shouldn't have all three although I like all three for different reasons I'm going to post the last version in the next chapter.


	22. toy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> third version of chapter 20  
Pairing: Severus/Harry  
Tags: dubcon, virgin Severus, mature,bottom severus

Sev to be thoroughly humiliated, to be a sex toy, and do something he didn't want

alright so... lady undergarments, toys throughout day, maybe nude throughout day, no footplay of that nature, no forced bathing, but sharing is okay, exhibitionism is okay, no u*** play, yes spank with toys (but no crying sev: do you mean just with spanking or at all?), accidental face shot, all in private, yes I can do bondage (please state the extent you would like it to go everyone has different levels).  
  
SO Harry like's Sev... Harry knows how prideful the man is so he opts for making Sev need him (if nothing else then for sex), this goes on for a while, does Sev every start having romantic type feelings for Harry or will the story end with Severus not likeing or loving harry but still needing him?

I always held a fascination for my old sour potions professor. Even when he was a right jerk, I still wanted him. Once I learned of his real alliance, I knew I had to make him mine. Sure, there is the age difference, and I’m not fooled by that one act of openness he showed when he thought he was going to die. I’m sure he’s still a bastard, but none of that matters. Simply put. If it’s not him, I can’t get it up. 

Girls never really did it for me, sure I faked it pretty good, but I do not want to fake my sexuality any longer. Even other boys. I continuously searched for someone closer- and closer still- looking to Snape. Shoulder length black hair, a prominent nose, razor sharp tongue. Just thinking about it makes me ache in all the best places. 

While I fought Voldemort, I made Hermione monitor Snape and most importantly keep him alive. All harm to him would be reversed later. Once the old snake died, I returned to my potions professor ecstatic that he still lived. From then on, I mostly did paperwork.

Even if Snape was loyal to the light and I held proof, he still committed many crimes. On top of not being well liked. The tattoo on his forearm existed for a reason after all. While he remained in a magically induced healing coma, I spoke on his behalf. It took longer than I would like, but eventually I did sway the ministry to my side. After all. I am the boy who lived. Twice I might add. The wizard Severus Snape would be in my charge as a servant. His magic would be heavily suppressed as would be his will. The collar placed on his neck ensured that he could commit no harm against me, and that he is bound to my word. As long as the orders are direct at least. True, there is little excitement in a declawed tiger, but it had to be done.

With a semi healed ex professor in tow, I brought him to my home in muggle London. A place that no one, not even Ron or Hermione knows about. I need a place that no one could find. A place where I don’t have to be a hero. I can just be Harry. I undressed him and restrained him to the bed. With only the collar and black silk restraints, he looks quite lewd. The nearly sheer fabric is quite fetching on him. I’m sure ropes and such would look beautiful as well, but for his first day, I could not have chosen better restraints.

If I were to be honest. It gets tiring playing the hero shtick. I do consider myself a good person, but it’s hard to live up to the standards. The boy who lived. I saved the wizarding world. Now I’m expected to marry and have children. I’m expected to give the remainder of my life to others. Forever continuing down the path that others have directed me to follow. It’s just a bit unnerving. I’m supposed to live the perfect picturesque life. There are just a couple of problems with that.

I hate this side of me. I really do. It’s a secret even from my friends. Ron keeps asking me why I don’t make the thing with Ginny official. It sickens me thinking of being in any intimate setting with her. Sure. She’s pretty enough, but she doesn’t have the right equipment. I’ve known for most of my life that I’m gay, and a large part that I only wanted Snape. Sure, I’ve kissed a few girls- even got to second base a couple times, but only enough to keep the scent off of me. Wouldn’t want anyone to realize that I bat for the other team. More than that…. I only seem to bat for Snape.

Being gay is bad enough. The other issue. I’m a bit of a sadist. 

I hate it. I wish I weren’t. But when I find someone that suits my fancy, my first desire is to break them and force them to submit to me. I want to make them cry and beg. I want to use them as I see fit. My true self does not fit in well with the hero image that others want to force on me. I intend to make Severus Snape my pet. I intend to use him for any and all of my needs. I’m aware of how atrocious that sounds, but once he has accepted his role, I’m sure he will be very happy.

He has not woken yet, but then he has been asleep for nearly a month. The mediwitches said that the coma that was placed on him was broken, but it could take hours or even days for him to regain consciousness. That’s fine. It gives me more time to prepare, though I really don’t need the additional time.

For the most part I try to leave his body alone-I do not always succeed. Occasionally I touch the soft skin. My fingers press against his virgin opening. His first day home, I cast a spell on him to inspect his sexual history. I did not want to worry over condoms, so I first intended to check him for any diseases. I will not pretend to know this man’s history. I was quite pleased to find out that my adult ex teacher is a virgin in every sense of the word. I’ll enjoy immensely ridding him of his innocence. I truly didn’t expect it, but in a way, I’m glad that my first time will be with a man that is untouched. After all. I’m just as untouched.

In the short period of time that he has been here, I have bathed him and fingered his impossibly tight arse. A few times. Many times. I would love for him to already be accustomed to being fingered by the time he wakes. It isn’t until the better part of the third day that he finally starts stirring.

“Good morning Severus.” I’ve been waiting so long for this.

“Mmm” He’s groaning around the gag in his mouth. He’s still not fully awake, but I’m tired of waiting. I slick my fingers with ample lube and slowly stretch out his opening. This seems to be enough to shake him from his drowsiness. “Mnmm” 

“I’m sorry Severus, I cannot understand you with your mouth full like that.” His black eyes are panicking as they are looking around frantically. He starts worrying more when he realizes he cannot turn his head. “Calm down. You are safe. I’m not going to hurt you.” My fingers press into him more deliberately now. He feels so soft inside. “Severus, have you ever had sex with a man?” He doesn’t answer. Technically he can’t, but I really don’t need a reply. I already know. I’m just trying to fill the quiet. “It’s a bit different than sex with a female. For one. Men do not have vaginas and so, they do not stretch or lubricate the same.” For now, I will not tell him that I know of his ‘innocence’.

I add a third finger. I’ve positioned him on his knees, his upper body bent forward. His ankles are fastened together and his wrists are bound behind his back. All in beautiful black silk. It contrasts nicely with his translucent skin. Really, the silk is just for aesthetic. I have spells placed on him to immobilize him. A much thicker piece of black silk is woven around his head and against his mouth. 

“I really have no interest in hurting you Severus. So I have to prepare you properly. It will be a few days of gradual stretching before you will be ready for sex. Once you have grown accustomed to being penetrated, I’m sure you will actively enjoy it.” He’s trying to fight the restraining spell on him, but he cannot. I remove all three fingers then push them all in together. I repeat this several times until his anus can take them easily. 

A part of me would enjoy thrusting in him right now and completely claiming him, but I do not want to break him. Not yet at least. I reluctantly pull out my fingers and replace them with a modest sized butt plug. He makes a noise when I slide it into him. I’m sure the process of training him would be easier if I slowly got him accustomed, but I know this man. He needs to understand quickly that I can do what I wish with him. Once he does, he will be happier and able to live comfortably.

Before I do anything, I summon the leash from the collar. I hold the leash firmly while I summon my wand to my hand. When I accio my wand Severus flinches. It’s beautiful to see those closed off eyes fill with expression, but I also do not want him to fear me. I cast the release spell and now he is able to move freely… almost freely. I’m still holding the leash and he still is not able to move his ankles more than two feet from one another. His pale wrists are also still bound behind his back. Black hair falls in his face. I can’t wait to wash it thoroughly. But first. 

“Follow me into the kitchen and I will fix you something to eat. I’m sure you are hungry.” I hear him growl behind the gag, but he cannot do anything else. The leash makes him follow after me. Every step has the toy shifting inside of him and I know it’s affecting him. With him standing I get a good view of his body. He’s modestly endowed. Neither small nor large. His ribs protrude crudely through his pale skin. I prompt him to sit in one of the chairs. He has no choice but to obey me. I smirk as his entire body trembles as that small toy is forced as deep inside him as it can go. I tie the leash to the leg of the table. Not that it matters. He wouldn’t be able to leave the house without my permission anyways. Even then. I doubt he would leave naked and wandless.

It doesn’t take me long to fix a stack of hot pancakes. I move the plate to the table and set it along with a fork in front of my chair. His eyes are furious. Still. He cannot very well eat still gaged so I start slowly removing the silken fabric.

“What the fuck do you think you are doing.” Are the first words that leave his mouth.

“Removing the gag so that you can eat. I would’ve thought that was obvious.” I use the fork to cut a bite size piece then lift it close to his mouth. He glares at it then at me. “Well. go on and eat.” I say holding the bite closer to his mouth. With his hands bound, he cannot very well feed himself.

“Why the fuck am I naked and tied up.” 

“Severus. We can talk about our new arrangement after you eat. You are much skinnier than I thought. Now that I am in charge of you, I will not have you going hungry.”

“My weight is none of your damn business.”

“Well. It is now. Say ‘ah’. I fixed these just for you.”

“I’m not eating anything.” He’s forced himself back into the chair. “You’ve striped me naked, restrained me, gagged me, violated me, and now you expect me to just let you feed me. You will release me and then give me back my clothes and wand.”

“No. I will do no such thing. You though are going to eat.”

“Fuck you Potter.” I exhale. I knew this was going to be a trying process. He always has been a confrontational person. It arouses me tremendously.

“Severus. You belong to me. Rather you like it or not, you are my pet, and I am your master.” His face is twisted unpleasantly into rage. “The ministry was going to give you the Dementor’s kiss. I wouldn’t let them. You were released into my custody. I can do what I please with you.” The anger in his eyes changed to another emotion. I’m not sure how to describe it. “I’m not going to hurt you though. I think… if you let yourself, then you could really enjoy being my pet.”

“I am no one’s ‘pet’!”

“Wrong. You are mine. You belong to me. Now. Say ‘ah’. If you refuse to eat, then I will have to force feed you. I would really rather not, but I will.” I think he can tell that I’m serious. He doesn’t look at me as his mouth parts microscopically. “Very good Severus.” His eyes narrow in further irritation, but it’s important for me to reinforce good behavior. With time, he will become more comfortable with it. He does eat every bite I present him though he still shows a certain reluctance. Eventually- once I trust him- I will let him feed himself again, but it’s obvious that he does not take proper care of himself. “Are you still hungry Severus.”

“No.” The word is simply said to end the conversation, but I take it at face value.

“Alright then. Now that you have eaten, I suspect that you will want to ask me questions.”

“Why are you doing this!” He spits angrily. Those black eyes are burning me.

“Because I desire you and because as much as you dislike me, being my pet is better than being dead. I know you do not enjoy being on the defensive so let me clearly state everything that I expect of you. The ministry placed that collar on you. It makes it where you cannot lie to me or disobey a direct order. For the most part, I want you to feel comfortable living here. It’s as much your home as it is mine. There’s a library and a lab for if you want to work on potions. I can get any ingredients you want. The only rules with that are, you are forbidden from brewing anything that is harmful to you or in an attempt to break this bond. I will call you by your given name, and I ask that you return the gesture. For the most part it’ll be as if we are roommates. The only exception is, I will not tolerate you being intimate with anyone other than me. It’s common knowledge that the ex death eater Severus Snape belongs to me. The ministry ruled it so. It was the only way to keep you alive. To make you my servant. But that isn’t what I wanted for you. I don’t need a servant. Severus, you will be my pet. And we will be intimate as often as I please.” I laugh easily. “and as often as you please.” He ignores my latter comment.

“That’s rape! You do not truly expect me to believe that you intend to… to…” It’s not lost on me how he’s still trying to hide his body. Though his arms are restrained, his legs are tightly shut, but I know he’s aroused. As repressed as he is, just talking about these lewd subjects is enough. 

“Fuck you? Tie you up? Explore all of the naughty fantasies I have? Severus. I have desired you for a long time. You will be my pet. My sex toy. I’m going to train you and teach you how I expect you to act with me. You don’t have to be docile. In fact. It’s much more arousing to force you into submission.” His legs are so pale. I want to taste them. “Open your legs.” I can see the collar faintly glowing before his legs shake slightly. He’s trying to fight it. He can’t. His legs open for me deliciously. He’s aroused and I lick my lips instinctively. 

“I know that I was cruel to you, but this is taking it to far.”

“Severus. I hold no grudges. This isn’t a cruel prank. I want you. For so long now. You don’t have to be ashamed. In fact. I want you to be comfortable. I’ll see you naked and aroused many more times. I would love for you to enjoy being with me.” 

“Maybe this didn’t exactly cross your mind, but what if I’m not gay?” I smile at him. I know he can’t lie to me. That’s why it was phrased as a question. 

“That doesn’t matter Severus. That collar your wearing means that I own you. But for fun, why don’t I just ask. Are you attracted to me Severus?” He’s not being forced to answer, but he can’t lie. He only has two options. If he truly isn’t then he’s fine, but if he does find me attractive, he will either swallow his pride and admit it or more likely remain quiet- which is just as telling. To be expected, he still hasn’t answered. I don’t force the subject. After all, he has another secret that I know. I know this will not be the last that we talk about our arrangement, but for now… “Let’s leave that alone for now Severus. Instead of answering, I want you to masturbate.”

“What.” 

“Masturbate.” His eyes only narrow at me. 

“I will do no such thing.” He is a willful man. I’ll have to break that. No. Not break. Just bend it slightly. I think his unaccommodating demeanor is what originally attracted me to this man in the first place.

“Severus, I want you to realize. That I could simply order you. There really is very little fun in that though, and even if you do refuse, eventually you will masturbate for me. I will give you a choice. You can masturbate for me now. In which case, I’ll allow you to do as you please. Look away from me. Only jerk yourself off. I’ll even let you finish. If you refuse, then I will not only stimulate your ass, but I will also use your throat for my pleasure. You will be forced to look me in the eyes the entire time, and I will not allow you to cum afterwards.” 

“You don’t scare me Potter. I don’t know what your ploy is, but you are only trying to intimidate me. Your goody Gryffindor attitude wouldn’t actually let you do something so coarse.” I’m already unzipping my trousers. It only takes a halfhearted stroke to bring my erection to full arousal. Though he falters for a moment, his eyes stay focused on his goal. “You wouldn’t.”

“Severus. I will if that is the option you choose.” I want him to test me. 

“Fuck you.” My hand gently presses to the back on his head. I cradle it softly as I brush the tip of my penis against his lips. Naturally his mouth stays firmly closed, but the drop of precum glistening on those pale sharp lips is arousing nonetheless. 

“No need to be obstinate Severus. Say ‘ah’ for me.” I keep my words light. I don’t want to order him into following my will. When he still doesn’t heed me, I press my shin gently- but firmly against his hardened dick. As repressed as he’s made himself, it only takes a few brushes before his body reluctantly responds. A few more and instinctively his mouth parts to pant softly. I only need that short moment. The hand that was on the back of his head slides to his jaw as I gently tilt his gaze to mine. As I do, my erection presses down on his tongue. “Very good Severus.” His eyes are wide and he’s frantically trying to look away from me. I simply turn his head to keep his gaze. “Don’t look away Severus. No need to be nervous. Just do as I describe. Use your tongue on the underside of my erection.” His eyes close tightly. So I make it a point to pull his long hair nice and hard. “Keep your eyes open. I want to see them the entire time. You have no idea how intense your eyes are. How captivating they are. I want you to be looking at me. Otherwise, there’s no point.” 

He does look at me. His empty eyes hold uncertainties in them, but he does not attempt to look away again. My fingers rub into the abused scalp and though his eyes become half lidded, he remains looking at me. He’s made no other moves. Only holding my erection uncomfortably in his mouth. Again I prompt him.

“Use your tongue on the underside of my erection.” His eyes shift slightly hiding from me before looking back. “Don’t be embarrassed. I’m not expecting you to be comfortable with this yet. Just trust me to lead you in the correct direction. You are my pet. And I will take care of you. I know how hungry you are for intimacy. I can give you that.” I cup his cheek as gently as I can. “You don’t have any reason to fight me.” He continues fighting me. In my pocket, I fist the tiny remote. Thumbing for the button, I press it. The plug inside of him whirls to life and he gasps. “Just relax. It feels good right. It feels good against your prostate. Come now Severus. Do as I asked you.” 

He doesn’t respond so I merely weave my fingers in his hair; my other hand lays on his cheek. I prompt him to bob his head while I shallowly thrust in and out. He whimpers despite himself. It only spurs me to move faster. His eyes sharply glare at me. I only smile back down at him. I knew he would show this level of reluctance in the beginning. I press the button again and the toy moves faster. I sigh when he moans around my erection. 

“Severus. My stubbornness will win out against yours. You are my pet now. My toy. You can trust that I will take good care of you. You only have to let me.” Both of my hands go to his shoulders as I push him deeper into the chair. When he moans, I thrust down his throat. He gags slightly. With time, he will get use to this. “If you cannot use your tongue, then I will use your throat.” I thrust deeper again and this time when I pull back, I feel his tongue press attentively against my slit. He’s not looking at me so I tilt his head further up. Once his eyes are looking into my own, I smile. “That feels good Severus. You are doing well.” It’s important to praise good behavior and from the way his eyes widen for a fraction of a second, I know that my words affected him. 

He's feeling pleasure from this. I can tell by the way his pale cheeks are tinged pink. I can tell by the way he keeps glancing away before meeting my gaze again. He wants to please. I think he always has, but it’s always been overshadowed by his duty as a spy and teacher. I’m sure this man has received very little praise in his life. That will make his transition into my pet all the easier. 

“A little more Severus. Can you take me deeper? Suck me a bit more.” He hesitates for only a moment this time. I can hear the little plug vibrating earnestly inside of him. I’m sure his tight virgin ass will feel magical. Soon, but not quite yet. “Your mouth is so hot Severus, I feel like I’m melting.” He’s whimpering even though he’s trying to remain completely silent. The toy is really working over his prostate. His throat vibrates against my cock and I want to abuse his mouth. I hold off for now though. He’s sucking me reluctantly, but I know that’s only because he’s just a prideful man.

His eyes are glazed over. While my fingers play with his dark hair, my erection is pulled out of his mouth. For a moment he only stares at it wide eyed. “Potter.” I smile down at him.

“Lick and suck only the tip. I know you can do a good job.” Again, he hesitates. This is still new to him, I expect most things to be a battle. In the beginning, at least. “Go on Severus.” 

“I don’t want to.” He states. 

“I know Severus. But once I properly train you, you will.”

“Of anyone who could treat me like this, I never expected for it to be you. I did not spend all that time protecting you just so that you can violate me.” I didn’t expect him to use guilt so soon, but it will not sway me. I’m almost disappointed that he actually saw me as a hero. No. I’m nothing more than a filthy fucking pervert.

“Of anyone, it should have been you to not see me as the hero that I’m not. Severus a moment ago you were enjoying sucking me off. You do not have to protect yourself from me. I know that you need intimacy as much as I do. Once I properly train you, you will be much happier. And if not, then you’re still forced to remain in my home. This will not change.” My hand cups his cheek. “I own you Severus. You choose how happily you will spend your time here. Now. Use that talented mouth of yours Severus. If you continue to do well then I might even reward you.” His gaze is going from my eyes to the erection in front of him. Precum is on his lips and when that mouth opens I nearly cum. His tongue darts out and gathers precum. I can tell from the way his nose scrunches that he doesn’t care for the taste. With time he will become addicted to it. 

I let him suck attentively only thrusting down his throat occasionally to keep him off balanced. My hands rest on his shoulders as I push him up and down on that toy. It’s not lost on me how occasionally a moan will escape his vocal cords. I’m getting close.

“Your first lesson Severus was to keep eye contact. Your second is that you always swallow my cum. I will not tolerate any less.” Dark eyes widen at the realization. Yes. I’m getting so close. I’d like to make him hold it in his mouth for a bit, but this early on and not trained yet, he would disobey and that would only lead to a punishment. “Take me a bit deeper Severus. Relax your throat, I want to be down it when I cum.” He whimpers and his cheeks flush as that sound escapes. But he does relax his throat and I’m allowed full access to his warm cavern. “I’m so very proud of you Severus. You did well for your first blowjob.” I look him directly in the eyes as my orgasm takes over. He does slightly choke, but that doesn’t deter me from releasing every drop into his hungry stomach. I wait until my dick is flaccid and his mouth is empty of my cum before I let myself slide out.

He doesn’t say anything- to lost in what he had just done. He’s still aroused though. I would love to take him into my mouth and return the favor, but I cannot go back on my word just yet. He challenged me. He has to know that I stand firm. It is the only way to train a pet. 

Smiling gently, I pat his head affectionately. “You did very well Severus. What do you say afterwards?” His eyes squint in confusion. I keep my tone even but confident. “You are to thank me.” His eyes are murderous.

“I will do no such thing!” I chuckle lightly.

“We can leave this for now since you are still learning. I have one more rule Severus. You are never allowed to masturbate without my permission. Not that it matters, because you are not able to cum without my permission either. So. Any release you get from now on will be if I allow it. Keep that in mind when you disobey.” He’s squirming uncomfortably. When I take the leash into my hand and start walking, he has no choice but to follow. I make quick work of showing him around the house. After making the rounds, I return him to his room. It’s early afternoon and as long as he was in that coma, I’m sure his stamina is low. 

“I am not a child, I am fully capable of knowing when I do and do not need sleep.”

“Of course, Severus, I am merely implying that you are too much of a prat to pay attention to your own needs.” I coax him onto the bed and remove the plug. His hole twitches at the loss of the toy and I ache to return it to him, but I should let him rest. I’ll make it up to him though, tomorrow I’ll have an even bigger one. The leash vanishes and I pull the covers over him. He’s noticeably uncomfortable, but on the bed side table is a stack of books. “This is your room Severus. I will not make you sleep, but I’m sure you would not be opposed to relaxing in your bed and reading?” I word it as a question. “Naturally if you are uninterested, I’m sure that I could find something else to occupy your time.” 

“No.. the books will more than suffice.” I kiss his cheek.

“Alright then Severus, I’ll let you relax. It’ll be a couple hours before I’ll begin cooking. Is there anything in particular that you are craving?” He doesn’t answer. “I’m a fairly good cook. And it is your first night here.” Awake anyways. “We should celebrate with a meal you will enjoy.”

“I will eat anything. I’m not picky.” He doesn’t say anything else. I sit on the edge of the bed and though I’m attempting to be nonthreatening, I notice the flinch. 

“That’ll make it easier. I’m not picky either. When I was a child, I didn’t really have the option to be picky. My aunt and uncle hated me- still do actually- and there were many times food was withheld, when it wasn’t I could hardly refuse it.”

“Hn.” He’s not looking at me.

“Severus. I meant what I said earlier, I care about you. You could really enjoy living here with me and being my pet- if you let yourself.”

“Haven’t I been enough people’s tool.” It’s a bitter statement.

“Yes. But you aren’t my tool. You are my pet. My toy. The only time I will ‘use’ you is for intimacy, otherwise you are free. You can have anything you want. Peace. Books. Potions. You are free to do whatever you want. The only thing I ask if for us to both feel pleasure. Is that such a great price? Just think about that Severus.”

I stand to leave.

“I don’t like carrots.” The words are quiet and the statement says so little, but from him it sounds entirely to vulnerable.

“I’ll keep that in mind Severus.” I close the door. Soon. I’m going to take his virginity. The rest of the day is lonely without him, but I give him his privacy. I know he needs time to come to terms with this. Severus is a smart man. It will not take him long to realize that rather he likes it or not, I own him. From there, he will form a plan of action. How he will behave. How he will respond. How he will speak. 

I cook a light meal. I would love for Severus to put on a bit of weight- he’s practically malnourished, but I know forcing larger portions down his throat will only make him sick. Once I finish cooking and set the table, I go to retrieve him. I’m not surprised to find his heavy head on the pillow and hair fanned out around him. In his hands is a still open book. He’s sleeping deeply and I loathe the idea of waking him, but he needs to eat. Once he finishes maybe I can convince him to turn in early for the night.

My hand feels so heavy against his shoulder. “Severus. The food is done. Wake up for me pet. Come and eat.” His eyes slowly open not fully conscious of the world around. “That’s it Severus. Come on.” I help him sit up. His nipples are protruding lewdly and I would love to have them for supper. He seems to have not realized that he’s still naked. His erection is tenting the light blanket over him. “Are you hungry Severus.” 

“Nnn.” He’s looking blankly up at me. Half asleep Severus is pretty cute. My lips press against his jaw line.

“You’re hard Severus. Do you want to cum? I can help you if you want.”

“Cum?” It’s as if he’s testing an unfamiliar word.

“Yes. I can make you feel really good.” My fingers are already deep inside him. His eyes roll back as he starts panting. I remove the blanket to get a good look at his straining cock. “I bet you are talented enough to have a prostate orgasm.” It’s easy to find that tight bundle of nerves. When his jaw slacks, I brush my fingers over it again. “You are doing great Severus. Open your legs Severus. Be an obedient Pet.” At first his legs open to fully expose his intimate areas, but all to soon Severus realizes what he’s doing.

Creamy pale legs clamp shut as pools of midnight glare at me. His body is no longer liquid. Tense shoulders close around him. I continue thrusting my fingers inside him though. “Stop.” His tone reminds me of my first year.

“I’m afraid that I can’t. You turned me on and I want to touch you. Severus, I’ll let you choose. You can continue laying on your back, in which case, I’m going to thrust between your legs and grind against your dick. Or. I can move you on all fours where I’ll grind against your ass.” I don’t think I’ve ever seen his face so red. “Which would you prefer Pet.”

“Neither!”

“If you can’t decide then I’ll have to decide, and again I will not allow you to cum. If you are obedient and choose like I’ve asked you too, then I guarantee you will feel bone melting pleasure. You only have to make a choice.”

“But both are awful choices. I don’t want you grinding on my bum and I don’t want you looking at me while doing lewd things.” 

“Those are your only two options Severus. I’m sure your erection is getting painful. I assure you, either choice you make, and you’ll be allowed release.” This time at least. “You only need decide.” I know he’s in pain. I can see him mulling over an impossible choice.

“You will only rub outside… not rape me?” I kiss his gently on his temple.

“I will not make love to you tonight. I only want to thrust between your cheeks and cum all over your back.” He’s not looking at me.

“You are not lying?”

“Severus. In time, I will be fully seated inside of you, but you’ll know when I plan to do it, and your ass is still much too tight for sex.”

“You can rub against my bottom.” He changed the phrasing, but for now I will allow it. Still I love the way he worded it as if he is giving me permission. I like that. For now, I ignore the slight edge to his voice. He doesn’t fight me when I roll him onto his hands and knees. I position myself behind him admiring the curve of his back. 

“Don’t be nervous. I won’t be able to accidently slide in, so even if I do rub against your hole, I swear that I’m not going to enter you.” Tonight at least. “Let yourself enjoy this Severus.” 

“Potter just… get it over with.” 

“Of course pet.” He hisses when I grasp his erection. Before he recovers I start a slow deliberate pace. With my erection pressed against the cleft of his bottom I move shallowly. My fingers stay closed around his cock. From my angle, I can see teeth biting down on a bottom lip. A curtain of dark hair hides most of his face. But all of his pale ivory skin is flushed a pretty shade of pink. I know he only made this choice to decrease the amount of embarrassment. That’s cute. It won’t work though.

“Wow Severus. Your nipples are so erect just like a girl’s. Is this making you feel good.” His teeth bite down harder. “They are so pink too. Almost as pink as your cute asshole.” When I press the tip of my cock against said hole he jumps. I don’t acknowledge it though and instead keep rubbing the head against it. “I’m sorry Severus, I’m getting precum all over your hole. I just can’t stop rubbing against it. I’m sure it’s hotter than fire inside of you. No doubt, you will be a tight flesh light. Until I break you in. That’s what I’m going to do to you. I’m going to stretch out your tight little hole and use you until your well trained ass is gaping from continual fucking.”

“I can’t believe your Gryffindor morals let you talk like this.” Is the weak reply.

“It was always a chore being in public. Being expected to be and act a certain way. Severus you cannot imagine how long I have been wanting this. With time, you will want this relationship as well. You will be content as my pet and toy.”

“Never. I have no choice but to submit, but I will never desire this.” Lightly sucking on his jaw I suppress a chuckle. So obstinate. He truly is my ideal. “I hate you.” I laugh fully this time.

“Severus, you do not have to love me. I’m not asking for that. The two of us can simply mutually enjoy one another’s bodies. We are both men. It’s only natural that we’d want someone warming our bed. The both of us have problems obtaining that though.” His skin is soft. My tongue traces a long scar across his shoulder before I continue. “No one from the wizarding world wants to be intimate with Harry Potter. They want to be intimate with the boy who lived. And they all have a certain level of expectations. The hero should be a gentle giving lover, and I just can’t enjoy that. Not every time at least.”

“You assume that I’m unable to find a partner.” The tone is overly guarded. I don’t respond at first, instead to interested in sliding between his cheeks. 

“I assume nothing. As I said, I’ve been desiring you for a long time. Before I decided to make you my pet, I had to make sure that there were no opponents. I held no delusions. You’re an adult and likely you had lost your virginity sometime as a student.” I know now that isn’t the case. I will keep that information to myself though. “But I wanted to know who my stubborn prideful and temperamental professor got hot and bothered for. So. I did some snooping. Followed you around. Snuck into your room. Followed you during the holidays when I stayed at the school. Nothing. No hint of a lover of any sort. Which is good. I would have felt awful breaking up a happy relationship. But I knew I would have you somehow.” If he were truly happy then I think I actually would have left him be. But like me, he wasn’t happy.

“You stalked me.” The sentence is a whisper.

“For a spy you are not nearly as observant as you think you are. But luckily you spilled the big secret that night I defeated Voldemort. The fact that you were best friends with my mother. But that wasn’t all. I did research on you after the war ended while you were healing. You were also smitten. Hell. Maybe you still are.” It’s a sobering thought to know that this man that I have lusted after since my first year has had his own past. One full of his own unrequited love. The twistedness of the situation is not lost on me. He’s quiet and I’m prepared to let the conversation drop when his responds.

“I was never attracted to Lily in a romantic sense.” I know that he can’t lie to me, but he’s also not telling the full truth. For a moment, my temper flares. Both of my hands push his chest into the bed as I grind faster.

“Is that all you plan to say of the subject.” His hands are clawing at the blankets. I only press down harder. “You did everything to protect me because of your platonic fondness for my mother? It’s not as though you did it for me. You hate me.” He’s yelping but I don’t slow. “You sure as fuck didn’t protect me out of the goodness of your heart. I’m supposed to believe that your only reason that you protected me was for a woman who abandoned you for a man who bullied you mercilessly. As bitter as you are, and as deeply as you hold grudges, you expect me to believe that.” Before I can stop myself my hand is coming down to swat his bum.

He grits his teeth, but that does nothing to hide the shame on his face. When my hand comes down again harder he cannot stop himself. “No! Hurts.” His voice cracks. I swat him again. The sting on my hand feels orgasmic. I know this has to be scary for him. This shift in power. Knowing that the only thing he can do is submit to me. I swat him a final time. “Potter. Stop.” He’s shaking. I already intended too. “Please.” The word sounds so foreign. My fingers are in his hair, softly encouraging him to look at me. While he’s trying to look away from me, I capture his lips. His mouth refuses to part. While he resists me, my hand strokes him firmly. Severus is trying to twist away from me, but he’s only succeeding in pressing back against my erection. Once he realizes, he simply goes limp. I don’t know how long my mouth was pressed against his before he released a muted moan. I took my chance and began exploring his mouth. He’s fighting me again. The harder he fights, the gentler I make the kiss. Keeping the pace that I pump him even, I leisurely explore his mouth. I hate to pull away, but I know he needs to breathe. And so do I. 

“Severus, I’m not a gentle lover. I’ll use you as I please. Spank you. Tie you up. I am going to use you up, but I will not discard you. I’m not my mother. I’m not gentle. I’m not her. I’m not either of my parents. I’m Harry Potter, and you belong to me.” He’s not looking at me even as he exhales.

“I know that you are not her. Like it or not, I can’t go anywhere. I’m not happy about this, but being an… object is better than the dementors kiss. Better than death. I can’t escape you.” His hand is grabbing my wrist. “I was never in love with Lily.” His voice is monotone. “Can you just… finish already.” His erection is still throbbing despite everything. I’m sure he would like release.

“You seem really sober Severus. You aren’t even trying to resist.” 

“You have made it clear that you will do as you please. Sometimes in a strange environment, a person must set aside who they are in order to survive.”

“I’m not going to kill you Severus. You don’t have to fight to survive anymore.”

“You’ve stated numerous times that you own me. It’s clear that is truly the case. I’ll escape you somehow though. For now. I’ll play by your rules because I have no other options. I am not following your order out of desire to please you.” I kiss the juncture of his neck.

“Is that why you are so hard now? Come off your spiel. You love being touched like this. You love having something grinding against you. You want to be a pet. There’s no shame in admitting that you want a good shag. I’d be more than happy to oblige my pet if he asked.”

“You are delusional.”

“No. I’m completely correct. Just by grinding against your hole, it’s twitching and trying to suck me in. You want to be used Severus.” For good measure, I rub my precum against his opening, and just as I said, the tight needy thing suckles my erection begging for it. “You can’t fake this. You’re just a born submissive. But that isn’t bad Severus. In fact it’s perfect. It just means that it’ll be that much easier for you to adapt to the life of a pet.”

“I’m not some animal to be trained.” He says quietly, as if to assure himself.

“Of course, you are. All men can be trained by sex. Just look at you under me. Submitting because of how needy you are.”

“What would your father think if he saw you like this. He hated me. He would be disgusted that his son desires someone like me.” I knew he would bring up my father eventually. That’s fine. If he wants to talk about my dad, we will.

“If my father were here, he would probably disown me. Right? I am gay. And I am attracted to older men. It’s not like I could fake being aroused right now. But my father was a bit of a homophobe wasn’t he Severus.”

“Your father was a worthless excuse for a human.” The words hold no heat. Only a deep bitterness. 

“You’re probably right. Severus, I’m not my father either you know? In any way. I really don’t want to hurt you. I do actually care about your safety and happiness, only, I don’t think you know what’s best for yourself. Whereas, I can take care of you. I can give you what you need to be happy. I’m not going to lie or hide things from you Severus. I would like the same in return.” I kiss his jaw. “I knew that you were not in love with my mother. I’ve known that you were gay for a very long time.”

“Damn it Potter. Would you just finish so that this can end?” His erection is twitching, but I hear the panic in his voice.

“Severus. How long were you in love with my father?” His body goes limp. “And what did he do to you when he found out.” His hardened penis is wilting as his body deflates into the bed. “I’ve only known for about a month. I went to Hogwarts to visit my friends and I stopped by your room to get anything I thought you would need or care to keep. When I went through your things, I saw quite a few vials with memories in them. I figured that that was done in order to keep your mind empty from Voldemort. Using Dumbledore’s pensive, I got a good watch of all of them.”

“Potter…”

“My name is Harry.” I climb off of him and lay on my side facing him. “Do you know what I saw Severus?”

“I do not want to talk about this!” He’s facing away from me. I wrap my arms around his middle.

“I always hated talking about my abusive childhood too. Wondering why I wasn’t good enough.” I keep my movements slow. His flaccid dick is laying in my hand as I stroke him gently but deliberately. As I rub my thumb over the soft skin, I press against his back. “So. You were treated awful at home, but you met my mother and you had a friend. That was almost enough. Once both of you started Hogwarts, you slowly started drifting apart.”

“Stop talking.” He’s trying to cover his ears, but I don’t let him. 

“That’s because you were in love with someone who was in love with my mother. She didn’t like him though. My father hated you because he thought you were in love with my mother.” The hand that isn’t rubbing him is lying flat over his chest. His heart is racing. “So he became even crueler to you. Until ultimately he learned that you are gay.”

“SHUT UP.” I hold him tighter.

“What did he do to you Severus.”

“SHUT UP.”

“What did he do?” He’s thrashing trying to get free, but I hold him securely.

“Let me go. I don’t want to talk about this.”

“It’s okay Severus. You’re safe Severus. What did he do?”

“You claim that you care about me. If you did, then you wouldn’t bring this up. If you know then you wouldn’t bring this up.” My thumb follows the length of his penis. “Would you stop that!”

“Not until you tell me what he did when he found out. I’m doing this because I care about you. What did he do when he found out Severus?”

“You already know.” He says defeatedly.

“That doesn’t matter. We will talk about this so that you can move forward. You are my pet Severus, I will not have my pet pining after another man. Especially not one that mistreated him. When I make you feel good, when I make you cum, I want to know that you are calling out my name. Not my fathers. I will no longer tolerate you referring to me by the same name you referred to my father.”

“Pott…” He catches himself “Harry. I do not want to talk about this.”

“You don’t have a choice.”

“It’s humiliating.”

“Just say it Severus. When my father found out you were gay, what did he do.”

“Harry please.”

“What did he do Severus?” He’s quiet for a long period before he exhales.

“He levitated me and unclothed me in front of everyone.”

“Say the rest of it.”

“I was embarrassed and ashamed of myself. Lily tried to help me, but I was angry at her because he loved her so effortlessly. I was angry because I wanted to be her.” He’s clinching his eyes tightly. “I wanted to be her okay. To be pretty and wanted. I called her that name. We were never as close after that. I tried to apologize. Lily was forgiving by nature. I think she would have forgiven me had I told her why. She asked me several times, but I couldn’t tell her. She had started liking James by that point and I didn’t want her knowing.” He sounds so weak and tired.

“Thank you for telling me Severus.” He doesn’t fight me when I turn him to face me. I don’t bring up the thin trails of tears. “That must have been difficult Severus.” My fingers are carefully pressing at his opening. “You must have felt alone.” I cradle his head against my chest.

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” Two fingers slide into him up to the knuckle. 

“I know that this is difficult for you to talk about. It’s important though for us to be going forward and not dwelling on past mistakes. That part of your life is over. You aren’t a child in an abusive home. You aren’t a student being bullied. Or a spy. You are my pet. The only thing you have to do, is let me take care of you. Let me pamper you and discipline you according to your behavior. If you are good then I will reward you, and if you are bad then I will punish you. But I will always care about you.” I brush my fingers over his button a final time before returning to grinding against his opening. Just as we agreed on. He’s defensively curled into a ball.

“This is humiliating.”

“I know, but this is what you decided.” I’m holding one of his legs against my side so that I can rub against him directly. 

“Ahh.” The exhale takes us both off guard. I recover much quicker than he does.

“Did you like that Severus?” I keep any tone that could be considered teasing out of my voice. 

“I’ve had enough. Stop this at once.” His walls are back up and I already miss the vulnerable Severus.

“I can’t stop now that you are feeling good. Maybe if I do it again, I’ll get a real moan.”

“I would never make such a sound.” When I repeat the motion from earlier, he shivers, but sure enough no more sound comes out. I twist fingers in his hair to force him to look at me. Eyes are clinched shut and he’s biting his bottom lip. 

“It’s alright. I won’t tease you.” Pressing my lips against his, I make it a point to slide fully against his opening. With nothing to silence himself, he’s breathing pleased exhales into my mouth. I’m not happy that Severus wanted my father, but I can’t help that. I can only make sure that going forward, I’m the only one consuming his thoughts. Severus releases a breathless moan into my mouth each time I slide the tip of my erection against his opening. I’d say that he’s nearly ready to be taken. I broke him. That’s an awful, but necessary step. Cleaning out the cobwebs of the past. Ripping the band-aid off.

It's the only way. And I’ll have to do it to every barrier. 

My fingers are cradling his chin while my thumb rubs against his cheek. Men like Severus are always starved for affection. I suck on his tongue and he pulls away flushed. I nearly cum at his panting. But I should know because I’m just like him. “How’s this Severus. Are you feeling it here?” His eyes flutter closed and I can’t keep the smile from my face. His face is lax and I can tell he’s fighting with himself.

“Please. I need to cum. It hurts.” Good, this is a necessary step. Him expressing his needs to me so that they can be met. I’m stroking him. I’m getting close.

“Very soon pet. Just a bit more.” His entrance is begging to be breached, but I’m a man of my word. “Severus, do you remember the second rule?” He’s panting.

“Yes.” 

“’Yes sir’. Recite it to me.”

“I am to always swallow your cum.” His words are quiet and resigned.

“Very good. Once you’ve successfully swallowed all of my cum, then I’ll let you release. Are you ready to swallow my cum Severus.” He’s quiet for so long as I stroke him.

“Yes.” I swat his bottom and he gasps from surprise.

“’Yes sir.’” I remind.

“Yes sir.” He mimics respectfully.

“Very good. Nnn. Get ready to drink it up Severus.”

“But Harry. If you cum now, then I can’t drink it. And you’ll punish me over something that I can’t…” He’s anxious. 

“Shh. I’m close. Don’t be afraid of this Severus. Don’t be afraid of me. I’m not looking for reasons to harm you. Relax for me, I’ll help you drink it all up.” My fingers dig sharply into his hips to hold him firmly. The tip of my erection is pressed against his hole. So close. “Drink as much as you can Severus, I’ll feed you whatever you don’t drink.” His own fingers are digging into my shoulders. “Almost. Ahhh. Almost.” Another brush against the twitching muscle and I’m releasing all over his ass. He whimpers with each explosion. Already my fingers are pressing my cum inside him. Feels so good. The gasps and whimpers leave his mouth unmonitored. “You drank up most of it, but there’s still a bit more. You aren’t allowed to waste a single drop Severus.” He’s shivering as my fingers intimately encourage the liquid inside of him. “Does this feel good Severus. Remember your manors.” I suck on his shoulder.

“Yes sir.” His tone is low and resistant, but he answers correctly.

“It feels good when I make your ass wet and sloppy?” I smirk at the pink of his cheeks.

“Yes sir.” He growls out. I’m sure his erection is painful. 

“You spilled some though. If you really like it, then you’ll finish eating it yourself.” I’m sucking lightly on his jaw and reluctantly, he reaches behind him to try to swallow the rest. I watch openly as long talented fingers push my cum inside that unused hole. “I’m very proud of you Severus for eating all of it.” I slide him off of me and open his legs exposing him. His erection is an angry red. “Go ahead Severus. Finish yourself.” He’s eyes are wide.

“But.”

“I said you would get release. And you will. Show me how you masturbate. If you refuse, then that means you obviously don’t want to cum.” I’ve won. “Severus. I always get what I want.” He knows I’ve won. His eyes squeeze shut as his long fingers wrap around his length. He knows that I’m serious. Instinctively his legs are closing to hide himself. “No Severus. Open your eyes and keep your legs spread. You can’t properly show me if you are hiding yourself. Don’t you want to cum Severus.” 

I’m filled with perverse glee when those legs slack and his eyes nervously look down at himself. It’s a start. With both of my hands on his knees to keep them apart, he starts his pace. He’s flushed an arousing shade of pink and I don’t hold back from sucking his nipples. I would love to give him a blow job, but he needs to learn. I make the rules. I have to be consistent. I have to be constant. But I can’t help but notice that the more he tries to masturbate the softer he’s getting. He’s putting on a brave face, but he’s not an exhibitionist. I just need to remind myself that he isn’t use to this yet. He’s still untrained. 

“Severus.” He looks up at me and I can see the complete embarrassment on his face. As adorable as it looks on him, this isn’t what I want right now. I turn him and lean his back against my chest. “Now. Open your legs wide and touch yourself however you would normally. 

“What are you going to do?” He asks. He sounds so vulnerable.

“Consider this part of your training. Keep masturbating Severus.” I have a much better view of him stroking himself. My fingers are pressing against his wet hole and he jerks when I brush the ring. “Shh. Don’t worry about me. Just keep going.” His pace is slow, and I finger him at the same pace. Simultaneously I suck his ivory neck. He gasps, but I only continue. Once I’m sure there will be a pretty mark I kiss his jaw line. “Your cunt is very sloppy.” He’s tensing as I whisper in his ear. “Severus, I’m going to turn you into a wanton slut. Yes I’m going to make full use out of this spot.” I watch his eyes clinch shut as he jerks himself faster. “Yes. Keep going. Masturbate for me Severus.” My fingers are brushing his prostate and he’s panting. “More Severus. Faster. You’re so close.” 

“Please.” He tiredly begs. I suck on his collar bone until his body is spasming. He wants release so bad, but he can’t until I allow him. Soon. But not yet. 

“No. You have to earn your pleasure Severus. I have no need of a fleshlight that cares only for it’s own pleasure. You’ll get release soon enough. But I’m enjoying this, and so are you.” His other hand has gone to kneed his sore swollen balls. I’m sure he’s hurting. Soon. “Keep going. You are doing so well.” He’s gasping.

“Hurts so bad. Please. Please let me cum.” I retract my fingers and place a hand on either leg. I push them apart as wide as I can. His head falls back against my shoulder. “Please. Harry. Please. I did as you asked. I followed all of the rules. 

“Keep your legs spread as wide as you can.”

“Y.. yes sir.” I kiss his cheek at his respect. 

“Good boy.” I lay the flat of my hand against his lower abdomen. “I’m so proud of you.” I continue to leave open mouthed kisses all down his neck and to his shoulder. “I’ll let you cum just as soon as you do one last thing for me. Moan my name out real prettily.”

“What?” I smile against his skin.

“I’ll let you cum when you moan out my name. You give me that, and I’ll give you permission to release.” I suck on his adam’s apple and his head leans back more allowing me better access. He’s to needy to resist. 

“H.. harry.”

“Again. Louder. Not until you moan my name properly.”

“Harry.” He sounds breathless.

“Again.” I’m rubbing his smooth flat stomach. 

“Harry.” He sounds desperate.

“Louder.” I bite down on his shoulder.

“HArry.”

“Almost there Severus. Again. Call my name. Scream it love. Show me how desperate you are.”

“Ahh. Ahhh.” His hand is moving so fast. Light tears are pricking his eyelashes. He’s really feeling it. “Harry. HARRY.”

“Yes. Like that. Again.” His need only builds.

“HAARRY! Please. Oh please. HARRY!”

“Yes. Almost. Keep your legs wide. Keep yourself exposed. You have nothing to hide from me. Show me all of your pleasure.”

“HARRY! HARRY!”

“So lovely.”

“HARRYY!”

“My lovely pet. My lovely toy. So needy. Get use to screaming my name.”

“OHHH. HARRY.” My right hand stays on his abdomen while my left hand goes to his inner thigh. “Please. Oh please. HARRY!” Sucking his jaw a final time I move his hands away and grasp his long erection. His hands are wrapping to grasp my legs at his sides. “Harry. HARRY!”

“Yes pet. Cum for me. Cum now Severus. Cum for me pet.” 

“AHHH.” He’s trying to hunch into himself but I hold him securely. “HARRY!”

“Yes. Keep going.” My right hand massages his still swollen balls. “Don’t stop. Keep cumming Severus. You are doing so well.”

“AH. AH. AH.”

“Yes Severus. You are making a mess of yourself. Keep going until nothing is left. Feels good doesn’t it. All of your cum just built up. And now you just can’t stop.”

“Can’t stop. Harry. Harry”

“That’s right. You can’t stop. Keep cumming. I’m so proud of you Severus. Keep cumming until there is nothing left. You’ve earned this. I’m very proud of you. Keep cumming Severus until your balls are empty. Don’t stop.”

“Harry.” He’s panting. “Too much.”

“You look lovely Severus. You can have this regularly Severus. All you have to do is be a good pet. Don’t stop cumming until your balls are empty. I want there to be nothing left. Show me all of it.”

“Y.. yes. Harry…” His ears are pink. The amount of cum is slowing and his body is turning to liquid. Still. I continue to stroke out every drop. Once he finishes, I bring my cum covered hand to his mouth. His eyes widen.

“Taste it Severus.” His eyes close as he takes two of the fingers in his mouth. “Very good Severus. I’m proud of you.” I remove the fingers then take them into my own mouth. He watches intently as I clean every finger. “What do you say Severus.” He’s quiet for a length of time. “And remember, you decide how easily you are treated.”

He looks away from me. “Thank you Harry.” Kissing his lips I ease him against the bed. 

“You are very welcome. I’m so proud of you Severus. Now, you rest, and I will bring you your supper.”

“Thank you Harry.” He’s tired. His body still raw from such unfamiliar activities. I’ll have to warm the food, but I think we made great lengths just now.

I bring him the food and set it in his lap. He’s eating slowly. He refuses to meet my eyes. That’s to be expected though.

“Do your friends know that you are gay.”

“I imagine if they did, Ron would stop trying to set me up with his sister.”

“Then, am I to keep this arrangement a secret from them.”

“That’s a good question. They both know that the ministry bonded you to me. They do not really know what I intend to make of that. They don’t know about this home. No one except you and I know. I don’t really intend for them to ever come here. I haven’t really talked to them since the war ended. They are content with each other and I don’t much care for being the third wheel.”

“You shouldn’t distance yourself from your friends.” He’s slowly eating bits of meat.

“Me and you both know that homosexuality isn’t really talked about in the wizard world. I’m not really ‘allowed’ to be attracted to men. Because I have to carry on my family name. Because I’m the boy who lived before I’m Harry.”

“Fame is a heavy burden.” Any other point in my life, I would be sure that he is ridiculing me. Right now though, I can’t tell. “I would think that your friends would accept your preferences as the Gryffindor’s that they are.”

“I remember when my aunt and uncle found out. I was seven. I’ve known most of my life that I preferred men. They found out. They were so much crueler after that.” My hand reaches and cups his cheek. He doesn’t move. I can actually touch him now. He belongs to me now. I can touch him as often as I please. “I wonder if that’s why I’m fucked up. Maybe not. Maybe I’d still be warped even if my parents had never died. I’ve cared for you since the first time you spoke to me. No. Since the first time I saw you in the great hall first year. Your tongue was so sharp and insulting. You didn’t treat me like anything more than an annoying brat. Not because I’m the boy who lived. Not because I’m gay. But just because you wanted to. I know that I care for you, but I want to hold you down and make you scream and cry. I want to take away your freewill. I want to control you. I want to train your body to only respond to my touch.” He’s shivering and I don’t know if it’s because of my words or because of how cold it is. “I want to turn you into a well-used sex toy. Where all you know how to do is take pleasure from being used. Severus. I’m not a hero. I’m just a man that’s never really been allowed to be himself.”

He’s exhaling softly. “Well. If you told Weasley that that is what you want from a romantic partner, I can assure you that he will cease attempting to set you up with his younger sister.” I smirk at him.

“She’s just not as sturdy as you. And simply put, I’m not attracted to her.”

“How do you know. You are young after all. It could be a faze.” 

“We both know it’s not a faze. And I’m positive. When I’m around her, I don’t have the desire to push her down and make her cry and scream. I don’t want to tie her up and take pleasure from her. I don’t want to fuck her tight virgin hole.” My fingers are pressing between his legs. His eyes are wide, and I can see his erection. But I don’t continue. I remove my fingers and give him his space. “It’s not very nice to accuse someone of not knowing their sexuality.”

“Sorry.” He says before he can stop himself. “I find it hard to believe that Ms. Weasley could still be a virgin at her age.” He’s trying to change the subject.

“Oh she’s not. She actually had sex some time in her third year with Neville. She’s kind of like me. She likes being the dominant one in a relationship. You know, she’s the only other person that knows that I’m gay. The only person that knows how I desire you. She knows the type of things I want to do to you.”

“Did you think it would be safe to tell her?”

“Well. I knew a few of her secrets as well. Makes it easier to not worry about my secrets being spilled.”

“So you are blackmailing her.”

“I prefer the term high stakes friendship. Ginny and I don’t really care one way or the other for each other. She’s my best friends younger sister. That’s as highly as I’ll ever think of her. And she feels about the same.”

“It’s a wonder you weren’t placed in Slytherin.”

“He- the sorting hat- wanted to put me there, but I didn’t want to be in the same house as Malfoy. Or Voldemort. Of course, I choose before I saw you. I think, had I known you would be my head of house I wouldn’t have resisted so much.” He’s not looking at me. “I can only imagine how wonderful the detentions would be with you as a head of house.” He completely ignores my lewd comment.

“When referring to sexual intimacy with Ms. Weasley you used the word virgin even though you have expressed knowledge that she is not. Why?” His voice is monotone.

“I wonder.” My hand cups his cheek and I kiss him deeply enjoying the underlying panic that I can feel under his skin.

“How long have you known.” He says when I pull away from him.

“That Ginny isn’t a virgin? Well she told me fifth year.”

“That isn’t what I mean.” I smile at him.

“Then what do you mean?” His eyes are throwing daggers at me, but his cheeks are pink. 

“You damn well know.”

“Say it Severus.” He’s exhaling lowly and it sounds like a growl. “I’m just a brainless Gryffindor, how could I know if you don’t tell me.”

“How long have you known that I am a virgin.” I smile sweetly at him.

“You’re a virgin? I wouldn’t have guessed.”

“Go fuck yourself.”

“Why would I do that if I have you around. But not tonight. It’s getting late.”

“You will not tell anyone of this.”

“Severus who would I tell. There is no one that I see or talk to on a regular basis. There is only you. And besides. I don’t really want to share your cute points with anyone. I like knowing that I do not have to share you. Also, it hardly matters. You won’t be a virgin for much longer. I’m going to enjoy being the only one to have you. Once you’ve had a bit more training. I’m going to turn your asshole inside out.” 

“Is it going to hurt?” His voice is quiet and I question if he really spoke. I can tell from his eyes that he didn’t intend to say that. Maybe the collar’s work?

“The first few times, it’s very likely. But. I will prepare you thoroughly, and I’ll be training your body in the meantime. I really do not want to hurt you Severus. I promise that isn’t my intention. I just enjoy bullying and manipulating those I care about.” I smile as gently as I can at him. “Didn’t you feel good earlier. You’ll feel like that again. I’m sure you can be happy with me. You’ll never want for anything. You’ll be safe. No one would be able to harm you.” I kiss his jaw line and he looks away from me. 

“I do not understand why you want to do this with me. Surely you could find someone else. Someone better suited. You don’t have to r.. r..”

“Rape you?” His eyes connect with mine.

“You know that this is wrong.”

“I will admit that this isn’t the way I would have liked to have you. If you were to willingly submit to all my whims I’d be much happier, but. Since that isn’t going to happen. I’ll have to have you by force until your body learns to depend on me. Severus. I can’t be with anyone other than you. I can’t even get hard. It’s okay if you are nervous about your first time. I’m nervous that I will not be able to pleasure you adequately. I don’t have any experience outside of my fantasies. It will be my first time as well.”

“I don’t believe for a moment that you are a virgin.” I kiss his lips enjoying the taste that is simply _him_. 

“I got as far as having a muggle guy with black hair suck my dick. I stayed flaccid the entire time. But I never have problems when it comes to you. Severus, I decided that I was going to have you, and I will. Severus you do not have to love me, but I will train you until you need me.”

I take his plate from him. He’s not saying anything.

“Tomorrow Severus, your training will begin in earnest. So please. Rest well.”

Tomorrow doesn’t come soon enough.

_The next morning_

He’s sleeping peacefully when I walk into his room. He looks exceptionally cute with his unconscious erection. Of course, he’s naked still. I’ve not provided him with clothes yet. Once I feel he understands our dynamic, then I may at that point. For now though. He is adorable curled up with his hands trying to shield his nudeness even in sleep. So very cute. And so very erotic. 

His body is twisting fitfully. Yesterday I may have been rough on him. It was important for him to understand quickly what his role will be. That’s not to say that I wanted to break him in already. But it wouldn’t do well to have to retrain him simply because I was not consistent. There is a thin sheen of sweat on his milky skin. A sheen of arousal more like. 

For just a moment I allow myself to stroke his proud erection. Unconsciously he rocks into my hand. The cute thing must still be tuckered out from yesterday. I did put him through a lot right out of the gate. 

His sleepy eyes blink open as he groans into the touch. He’s half asleep and instinctively seeking out pleasure. Stroking him faster he starts letting out his voice. Whines of need play in my ear.

“Does that feel good. I bet you’ve never had anyone help you with your morning wood before.” He squirms while rocking into my hand. He can say whatever he wants, but he is desperate for pleasure. I curl against him as I work him quickly to his finish. I do care about him. I do care about his pleasure. “Severus. Did you sleep well love?” I ask gently. He’s too caught in the moment to say anything, so he just nods. “Good. Just a bit more and I’ll let you cum love. Just a bit more.” I work him faster. He’s so beautiful. His pale skin is flushed in arousal. His adorable nipples look delicious and I can’t wait for my next chance to taste them.

His body is spasming and he would have cum a long time ago had I let him. His hand firmly grips mine and he’s frantically trying to make me stroke him faster, but I don’t let him. “No. No.” I chastise. “Just let me love.”

“P.. please.” He asks quietly. I kiss him and suck on his tongue. 

“You want to cum Severus?” He’s nods his head obviously embarrassed. “Alright love. Go ahead. Go ahead and cum for me.” This orgasm is not nearly as powerful as the one last night, but that’s to be expected. I didn’t drag it out. I wanted him to realize that first and foremost, I want to take care of him. His stomach is all sticky and I can tell he’s uncomfortable. His eyes are more focused showing that he’s definitely fully awake now. “What do you want Severus?” He bites his lip unsure. He seems to blush and I hear him speak very quietly.

“A shower.” It’s good that he’s learning to express his wants and needs. “Please sir. I would really like a shower.” I take his hand and gently lead him into the bathroom. He shyly walks with his legs firmly together. He looks completely breathtaking. Pale creamy skin. Very little pubic hair. He’s being polite and somewhat fearful. I don’t want him to be afraid of me, but I do want him to know that my words are to be taken as an unbreakable order.

He steps into the shower and anxiously squeezes his legs together. 

“I’m not going to hurt you Severus.” I say. And he does relax. “Now, let’s get you really clean Severus. Go on bend over. Put your hands on the wall and spread your legs.” He looks like he’d prefer to do literally anything else. But he knows that he cannot win against me. So reluctantly he follows what I asked. “Good Severus. A lot of cum was pushed inside you last night, so let’s make sure to clean you out thoroughly.” I take the shower nozzle and press it against the cute virgin bud. He yelps immediately, but gently I continue. I use my fingers to open him up and press the nozzle into his hole deeper. 

“Harry. This feels strange.”

“But just look at how hard you are. I’m going to turn the water on Love. Brace yourself.” I keep it on low. I don’t want to hurt him after all. He tenses immediately at the unfamiliar sensation. I don’t make him suffer through it long though. I pull the nozzle out of his hole and immediately water gushes out of him. “Oh Severus. I’m so proud of you. The water is all clear and clean. Do you know what that means?” My fingers press deeply inside him. “None of my cum from last night came out. It means that you gobbled it all up. I’m very proud of you. You deserve a reward Severus.” His cheeks are pink and it could either be the spray of the hot water or more likely embarrassment. 

“A reward? What do you ahhh.” The words fall off as he cuts himself off with a strange sound. I’ve wanted this since he woke up. I pull away with a loud suck. 

“You taste as amazing as I’ve always imagined.” 

“Don’t.” Is all he says before my thumbs separate his cheeks so I can get a good look at my prize. His hole is so tight that my tongue has to prod excessively before he is loose enough for my tongue to fuck him. I’m going to enjoy deflowering my tight flesh light. And so easily he falls. He’s hard and leaking trying to keep from pressing back on my tongue. Wonderful pleased sounds fight their way out of him. When my fingers join inside him, his legs start shaking, and he’s desperately holding on to the shower wall. With one more lick I pull away more so he can breathe. 

“Severus. It’s up to you. I can either continue tongue fucking you and jerk you off, or I can suck you off while fingering you.” He’s gasping trying to regain his composure. “Or you can just beg me to slam my cock inside your pretty asshole. That’s always an option.” He isn’t use to dirty talk. He isn’t use to anything actually. “What will it be Severus. If you cannot decide for yourself, then I will decide.” 

“You can continue like you are now.” He says very softly. 

“I’m sorry Severus? I don’t know what you are asking for.” I rub my thumb over his hole. “Now which did you want.”

“Between the two of them, if I have to choose one then the first.” I bite his ass cheek and his penis actually twitches. 

“Severus. You are upsetting me. Which of the two do you want?” He gulps and his shaky breathing increases. 

“The one where you jerk me off.”

“And?” I ask. “What was the other part.”

“You use your tongue to stimulate me anally.” He’s trying so hard. When I grab his testicles and give them a light squeeze he nearly collapses.

“I don’t believe that’s what I said. Now. This is your last chance Severus. If you are naughty then you can expect a spanking. What do you want me to do to you?” He’s torn. This is out of his comfort zone, but he knows that I will eventually win. I know it’s out of his comfort zone to use such language, that’s why I’m forcing him to use it.

“I want you to jerk me off and… and… tongue f.. fuck me.” His entire body is flushed. “Please.” He adds at the end. He’s a fast learner. 

“Of course Severus, you’ve more than earned it.” I’m not surprised that his inexperienced body is so desperate for pleasure of any kind. It’s really cute watching him trying to reign in his desire. Every time I prod him his body shivers. I’m enjoying it and if he feels this good from my tongue, then I look forward to how much control he loses when I finally get him.

I savor each time I suck on his trembling entrance. My hand strokes him long and fully enjoying the amount of pre cum. The gasps are music that encourages me to spread his cheeks and lick my prize slowly.

He can’t even hold back his sobs and pleas between both sides behind stimulated.

“Too much. Harry please. Give me permission to cum. Ohh. Ohhh! Harry please. This, it’s my reward. You said it was my reward so please let me cum.”

“Severus, you are being so well behaved. You really are a fast learner. I’m so proud of you for asking for what you need. Just a little more and I’ll give you your release. I just want one more thing first.”

“W..What do you want?” He can’t help the begging tone. “For me to beg, or… or…” His testicles are so swollen. He’s so needy.

“No Severus. Nothing like that. You are right. This is your reward, and I’m not going to punish you as a reward.” I try to smile gently to put him at ease. “All I want Severus is one little kiss.”

“A kiss?” I press my nose against his.

“Yes, I want you to kiss me. Kiss me like you would someone you love. Then, I’ll let you cum.

“What if… I can’t satisfy you?” He asks hesitantly.

“Trust me Severus, that’s impossible.” The press of his lips feels almost shy. He pulls away with a deep blush on his face. Gently I kiss his cheek and smile at him. “Very good Severus.” It’s the first time he has kissed me. 

His eyes a like molten liquid when I press our bodies together. His body is shuttering at the closeness. His erection grazes mine and he gasps at the contact. His narrow arms wrap around me in order to stabilize himself.

“May I come now?” He asks throatily. 

“Yes Severus. You may come now.” His fingers feel like daggers in my skin, but the way his back lewdly arches and the way his mouth parts to allow his tongue to wet his dry lips, more than make up for the minor pain. He truly looks lovely racing towards his finish. He’s too lost in his own pleasure to notice or care that I’m hungrily watching him. His erect pink nipples. Pale flushed skin. Perfectly supple ass. 

It isn’t until he collapses in my arms and is panting wildly in my ear that I notice the cooling cum between us. 

He stands on shaky legs as I finish bathing him and washing his hair. I take pleasure in washing all of his cum down the drain. Then, I take him in my arms and carry him back to his room. I dry him manually with a towel if only so I can enjoy the intimate touching. Once I’m satisfied, I roll him on his stomach and pull him up to his knees. 

“What are you going to do?” He asks quietly.

“I’m going to put another plug inside of you. It will be slightly larger so that you can gradually stretch.” He doesn’t say anything as I squirt a generous amount of lube inside of him. He doesn’t say anything when I slowly insert the toy. It went in much easier than I expected. Once I am finished, I coax him to stand up. “Now, you are going to come sit at the table so that you can eat. I trust that I don’t have to use the leash this time?”

“No. You don’t have to use it.” He proudly walks to the destination and once again I find myself falling in love with him. He watches me cook, but doesn’t offer up any conversation. I have to remind myself to focus on the cooking, but it’s difficult when all I want to do is focus on Severus.

“Can I trust that you will eat on your own?”

“Yes sir.” He says lifting a fork to his mouth. He’s clearly mulling something over, but I’ll wait till he decides he’s ready to talk about it. I’m glad to see him eating without me having to fight with him. We eat in silence so that he can continue to gather his thoughts. I don’t prompt him to enter a conversation. He will… in time. 

Once he finishes about half of his potion, he pushes it away and dips his head down. “Are you full?’

“Yes sir.”

“Very well, I will clean up. If you would like to go to your room and read or something, you can. Or, if you would like, downstairs I’ve prepared a lab for you to do some brewing if you would like. It’s well stocked. But if you decide to brew potions, then please put on some robes. You’ll find clothes that should fit you well in your closet. Anything and everything in your room is yours. Unless I say otherwise, please help yourself. Or feel free to just wander the house and learn your way about.”

Hesitantly he nods and I watch him walk in the direction of his room. Yes, his training has begun. 

It’s not enough for me to train his body, I need to train his very self. My only desire is that he needs me. He needs me in every way. I want him to willingly give up his freewill to be under my care. I want him to willingly obey my every order or whim because that is what he desires to do. Because he doesn’t know how to do anything else. 

Having me care for him in every possible way. Feeding him, cleaning him, pleasuring him, providing for him. All he has to do is exist.

As I’m washing dishes, I hear him walk up behind me.

“You aren’t using magic.” He states simply.

“It’s a habit. Magic is convenient, and some days I do use it for menial tasks, but I was raised muggle after all. This is just how I’ve spent the better part of my life doing things.” He rolls up his dark sleeves and dips his hands into the sudsy water.

“I’ll wash, you dry and put up.” I don’t argue with him or question why he is helping. “Did you pick out the clothes?”

“Yes, I tried to find clothes that I thought would suit your taste.”

“You included muggle clothes as well.”

“I prefer muggle clothes.” I say motioning to the comfortable clothes I am wearing. “I wanted you to have that option.”

“They aren’t red and gold.”

“Well, you aren’t exactly a fan of Gryffindor colors.”

“You’ve made me do humiliating things.”

“Unfortunate part of being someone’s pet.”

“But you aren’t actually humiliating me.” I pause in my drying to look at him. “You’ve forced me to do things I did not want to do. You’ve forced me to do and say humiliating things, but you have not humiliated me. You hold the power to if that’s what you really wanted, but you didn’t. The humiliation I feel is a side effect of me being inexperienced and unfamiliar with intimacy.” He’s not looking at me and his hands wash the dishes with familiar ease. “Earlier you ensured that I had an orgasm, but you didn’t. I expected you to use the ‘reward’ as a means of obtaining something for your satisfaction. A tit for tat situation, but you didn’t order me to do anything. You didn’t even show any desire to reach your own orgasm.”

“I was satisfied without cumming.” At this he pauses and looks at me as if he were sizing up a strange lifeform. “Were you disappointed that I didn’t do more. Were you disappointed that I didn’t finish too?”

He turns back to the dishes. “Your intentions are incomprehensible and I do not understand what you hope to gain by this bond.” 

“Severus, I asked you a question.” He opens his mouth and then promptly closes it.

“Don’t make me answer.” There is no emotion in his tone, but I can hear the unspoken please. He’s not ready to accept how easily he’s giving in to me. He’s not ready to accept how much of a sub he is. “Thank you for the clothes, they are nicer than I’ve ever had before.”

“If you need anything, just tell me Severus.” I smile at him. “But for now, we are done with the dishes. I will be in my room. Come find me if you need anything, otherwise enjoy your day.” I place the last plate away. He’s going downstairs to see his lab. He’s going to love it.

I didn’t know what all he would want or need, so I sunk a small fortune into his lab. Whereas the rest of this home is modest, his lab is anything but. Yes, I spent as much on his lab as I did on the rest of the house combined. Not counting the ingredients. In that area, I also splurged. I purchased many rare and expensive ingredients that I’m sure he was not often able to get his hands on. I took all his books from his old room at Hogwarts as well as his office and I lined bookshelves with them. Additionally, I purchased some old dusty tomes that I frankly knew nothing about, but I they looked ancient and I thought they would fit in well with his collection. I also took a few from the chamber of secrets that I thought he would enjoy. Several caldrons of different materials. 

It’s all his.

It’s just money and I’ve found that I have a surplus of it. My parent’s vaults were already large. My godfathers. Various people that died in the war that wished all of their belongings to me. I have enough to live several extravagant lifetimes over. I used nearly a third on different charities, orphanages and the like. With two thirds still left, I had this modest home build with the not so modest lab. Another part was put into investments, I mostly let the goblins deal with that. Still, I get letters from Gringotts saying that someone without any heirs or family has passed away and left all that they had to me. I tell them to portion it out the same way as I’ve been doing. A third gets donated to things that I support, a third gets invested, and the last third is locked in a vault. I don’t have much use for the surplus of money and homes that have been given to me.

It isn’t that I’m not thankful. I am. I just don’t want to think about the past. I’m the famous boy who lived twice. I don’t want that name. I just want to be Harry. I just want to be a boy that can go home to mom and dad. But I can’t.

But at the end of the day, there is always Severus. All scowling angry face and biting comments. I truly don’t want to hurt him. I honestly do love him. But maybe I really am screwed up because nothing pleases me more then to force him to submit. 

And yes, I want him to feel pleasure. I want him to feel pleasure so painful he doesn’t know how to survive without it. I want him to need me. Not because I’m the boy who lived. Not because I’m the son of his best friend and the man he loved. 

But because I am Harry. Because he truly desires me.

I’m given everything that I do not want, but the thing I do want I may never truly have.

“What is your angle.” His cold calculated eyes sting every part of me in such pleasant ways. Naughty boy didn’t even knock before coming into my room.

“I don’t know what you are talking about?” I really don’t.

“That lab. It’s ridiculous.”

“I just wanted to make sure that you would have anything you needed.”

“Some of those ingredients would have taken an entire years salary for me to buy a subpar amount. Are you trying to flaunt your wealth, because I’m not impressed.” His arms are crossed and he looks exactly like my foul mouthed bitter teacher. Man he turns me on. 

“I wasn’t trying to flaunt anything. I really don’t have much interest in material possessions.” I say motioning to the modest home. It’s comfortable and more than spacious for two, but ultimately counting the basement it is only three stories and the lab is the most expensive part. “I just thought you deserved anything you wanted, but since I don’t know much about brewing, I just went on a shopping spree and got everything that caught my eye. I knew you would need caldrons and utensils- some silver some pewter. I didn’t want to miss anything- so I splurged. It’s just money Severus. I don’t really have much need for it.”

“Excuse me for growing up poor.” He says icily.

“My aunt and uncle were reasonably wealthy. My uncle made a lot of money, and although they weren’t really rich, they weren’t poor. My cousin got anything and everything he wanted. He didn’t grow up poor, but I did.” I smile at him gently. “I got his hand-me-downs once they were to worn for him to bother wearing them, and I got his old shoes even though they were a size to big. I got his broken toys that he didn’t want, and I got his leftovers that he didn’t want to eat. Even once I did learn about the magical world and realize that I was rich, I still wore the shirts that were much to big and I still shopped thriftily because Severus, I did grow up poor. It’s just money. It can’t buy you things you really want.” Like a mom and dad. “But it can buy you plenty of potion doodads that might be able to please your pet.” He crosses his arms and looks away from me. “Are you pleased Severus? Are you satisfied with your lab, or is there something else you would like because if there is anything, then I will get it for you.”

“I’m pleased. Thank you.” He says between his teeth.

“You are very welcome. It’s yours Severus, do whatever you want with any of it. As long as it doesn’t endanger you, me, or our bond, then you are free to do anything.” 

He can be a very prideful man. He simply doesn’t like handouts. He honestly doesn’t know how to respond to it. I’m not sure what to think when he drops to his knees. Eyes focused and serious, he unzips my pants. He pulls out my flaccid dick and before I can ask him what he’s doing his hand is already pumping me.

“I don’t like feeling indebted to anyone.” Is all he says. His expression remains unreadable and even like this I think he is adorable. 

“I didn’t set up your lab with this intention. I only wanted you to feel comfortable here.” I predict that this is his way of regaining his footing. By initiating the sexual actions, he is putting himself in a position of control. And he feels more comfortable and confident when he is in charge. It really is cute. And I do want him to feel comfortable with me.

-but this will only hinder his training. 

If this was something he wanted to do, then that would be fine, but it isn’t. He’s only trying to take control of the situation. He’s only trying to step out of his role as submissive pet.

“Severus.”

“What.” He says curtly. It doesn’t matter that he initiated this, he’s still embarrassed. He’s still nervous. 

“Take off your clothes and kneel on the bed.” The situation dawns on him. He isn’t in control. He never was. When he doesn’t move, I gently grasp his hand and lead him to the bed. He soundlessly undresses and after a brief moment of hesitance, he kneels on the bed. His legs are under him and his semi hard dick sits innocently in his lap. He’s trying to nonchalantly cross his arms in front of himself to hide as much of himself as he can, but for now I let him. 

“I really didn’t expect you to be so horny already. I wonder if it’s because you are so repressed. Now that you’ve finally experienced a little bit of pleasure have you already become addicted to it?”

“I just thought it would be better to get you off before you came up with something more extreme.” 

“Severus, I’m afraid it’s much to late for that. I’ve been crafting so many fantasies about you for years.” I smile at him. “Now, on your elbows.” On all fours, he shamefully closes his eyes. I think I could cum just by looking at him. Cheeks aflame on deliciously pale skin. I openly look at all he has to offer. “This is very interesting.” I whisper as I spread his cheeks. Snugly inside of him is the plug. “Severus, when you dressed, you left the plug in. Why is that.” His body is tense.

“Because you didn’t say I could take it out.” Beautifully submissive. “You would have just punished me if I took it out.”

“No, Severus. I do not look for reasons to punish you.” I kiss his hip and enjoy how he shivers. “Severus, do you enjoy masturbation?”

“No. It was always unsatisfying.”

(Skipped to the deflowering but I wrote two potential ones, one where harry was more dubcon and one with less)

He’s been doing well in his training.

His ass is impossibly tight for someone who’s kept a butt plug in all day. I enjoy the way his walls clinch around a real dick. “What feels better. Me or a toy.” I can feel how reluctant he is, but he knows the correct answer. The one I expect to hear.

“You.” He’s a fast learner.

“Good. Now just relax. Take me nice and deep.” I widen his legs to push in completely. “Nice and deep.”

“Hurts!”

“No it doesn’t. You were prepared thoroughly. You’re just nervous. Relax. Let yourself enjoy it. Spread your legs for me. Let me teach you.” He’s already panting, but he does as I ask. His legs are so wide for me. He lays his head back on the pillow and closes his eyes. “Just like that Severus.”

“Harry.”

“Yes. Just like that.”

“No more. Please. It hurts.”

“You are supposed to say that it feels good.”

“But it…”

“Feels good. Say it Severus.” His body is completely tense so I softly rub his back. “Trust me Severus. Just relax. Breathe. This is part of your training too. It will not always be this painful. You were stretched thoroughly, it only hurts because you are nervous. Now. How does it feel Severus.” He’s shaking.

“Good… it feels good.”

“I’m glad to hear that pet. Now open your legs a bit more..”

He has no choice but to obey.

“It hurts!! I feel like I’m being split in half.”

“Yes. Your insides are so tight that it’s painful.” 

“I’m being used!!!!” I thrust inside his heat faster. “No more! No more!”

“Wider. Open yourself to me.”

“Please. It hurts.” His legs spread further.

“Just like that Severus. You make a good flesh light.”

“It’s to much Harry.”

“Beg me to take you deeper Sev.” 

“To much.”

“Say it Severus. Ask me to take you deeper.”

“Ta.. Please…. Ahh. Take me deeper.” I kiss his jaw line and as gently as I can I push in deeper.

“You feel amazing Severus. So nice and tight. My untouched virgin. And now I’m deflowering you. I’m exposing you to sex. After a few times, the pain will recede and you will only feel the pleasure. Each time will be easier.” He’s panting and his face is twisted in pain and reluctant pleasure. “Tell me how good it feels my pet. Tell me.” His face flushes and he wants to look away, but I will not let him. 

“It feels…” I thrust fully inside of him and he makes a cute sound. “It feels good.”

(other sex version)

Severus is curled into himself, knees bend, body fully pressed into the bed in front of him, and his forearms completely blended to the bed. My hands go to his shoulders and I find a comfortable position behind him. My legs go on either side of him. My inner thighs press against his hips as I fully seat myself inside of him.

Severus makes a perfect sex toy. His opening is pliable yet tight. He instinctively hugs around my erection hungrily. The heat is so intense I feel like I’m burning. As much as I want to thrust and fuck him raw, I do not want him to be in pain… well. Not right now at least. He needs to see how _pleasant _sex can be for both parties. He needs to see that he can enjoy this.

I roll my hips just enough to get a reaction out of him. The reaction is nothing more than a puff of breath expelling from his mouth. Trying to be more direct, I gently stroke his shoulder. “Are you alright Severus? Are you in much pain?” He doesn’t answer right away. “You feel so soft. I can feel your insides trembling. Do you like having a real dick inside of you.” When he still doesn’t answer, I decide to start moving- albeit slowly. The first thrust, I hear him choke down the most arousing sound I’ve ever heard. Even if Severus will not admit it, I know he’s a major sub. 

Grabbing his shoulders, I start a bruising pace. He’s fighting himself, so I make sure I follow through with every thrust. As I slam forward, my hands on his shoulders pull him back swiftly. After several beautifully painful thrusts I’m rewarded with him screaming. He’s trying to quiet himself fruitlessly. 

“Yes. Let out your voice.” The soft curve of his supple ass feels entirely to arousing against my thighs. His back is arching despite his caved in position, and each time I slide into his channel I feel like I’m going in deeper. “Your ass is as perfect as I imagined it would be. So soft and hungry to be dominated. Let me hear you Severus.” One of my hands cradles his jaw as I encourage him to raise his upper half. I’m rewarded with an even more arousing sight. His pale nipples are erect and begging to be tasted. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this one is my favorite of the three thus the much longer more polished story.


	23. hagrid secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Relationship: Severus/Hagrid  
Tags: Mature, bottom sev, sex only relationship

Professor Snape and I have been together for a few years now. Strictly secret of course. And I say together, but really, he only meets me for sex. He’s made it clear that, that will be the extent as well. Now, I really don’t have much to complain about. Professor Snape is brilliant in bed. Has a high sex drive too. Not a day goes by that he doesn’t come to my hut for _something. _All he really wants is my dick. Some days the extent of our meeting is him chocking on my shaft, suckling like some newborn calf. Others he will touch and caress me to completion. But I’m always told to keep my eyes closed. Every so often he will ride me, always making sure to face away from me. He only ever hikes his robes up enough for me to enter him, and he’s made it clear that, that will be the extent as well. 

He will never look at me during. He will never make sounds during. He will never cum during. I’ve wanted more than once to take control, but he threatened to break this off if I did. I think Professor Snape feels that he needs to always be in control. To never be undone. I’m not permitted to touch him. In the years that we’ve been together, I have never seen his penis. I have never seen his nipples. I’ve never seen him. No. Hands, and face is the limit. The prude even wears socks. I have not seen a single inch of him that others do not see on a daily basis. I try to not let that bother me. 

He's come again. He doesn’t waste any time pulling down my pants just enough to free my cock. He strokes me a few halfhearted times before straddling me- facing away as usual.

“Sir. I’d like to see you.”

“No.”

“Then at least touch you. Without looking?”

“No. You will not do that either.” He’s always prepared thoroughly before coming to me. He lowers himself onto my erection, his robes fall down around him. I can see nothing. But he’s moving. I’d love to watch my shaft stretch him, that isn’t permitted. His legs on either side of me as he methodically bounces on my cock. I thrust up- he doesn’t like when I do it- but he’s not forced me to stop yet. I’d love to watch his mask break. I try to break his rhythm. I’ll thrust shallowly then fully. “Do not move.” His voice is impassive. His hair shields even his profile. 

I’ve taught myself to read his encased body. His back is still. His sock covered feet hardly hide the curling toes. “Sir. If you permitted me to, I could make you feel good.” I thrust again for emphasis. 

“Your involvement is unnecessary. Simply lay still.” He resumes his slow methodical pace. He feels velvety and tight around me. I’ve learned to refuse all movements when my hands desire to grab his hips and violate his body. His words are absolute. He will not tolerate insubordination. I may crave faster frenzied movement, but for him to continue this trend, I have to resist. He is in control. Because Severus must always be in control.

“Sir. Please. Just a bit faster.”

“No. Make do with this much.” 

“Severus, Sir, you feel so hot inside.” He doesn’t like when I say dirty things. 

“Refrain from speaking so crudely or I will stop.” These threats aren’t uncommon. And he is not bluffing.

“Sir, I want more.”

“This is the limit Hagrid. I will not say it again.”

“I want to make you scream. I want to make a mess of you.”

“That is enough! You are out of line tonight.” He’s leaving. My erection is sliding out of him even as I’m thrusting up trying to stay inside of him. “Ahh…” That sound. That muted restrained omission of pleasure. A sound he’s never allowed me to hear him make.

My hands grab his hips as I’ve always wanted to do and reseat him in his spot. “Sir. You always approach sex with logic.” I want to fuck him. I want to demand everything from him. “Sex is instinctual.” I grab him over his robes- thankfully still erect.

“You will unhand me now.”

“Sir. You aren’t making the rules right now. I think it only fair that I have my turn. Don’t worry. I promise that I will not harm you.” I lift up his robes until I can see his pale ass split by my cock. I grab his cheeks and give them a good squeeze. I pull out and thrust against the cleft of his ass. “I knew you’d have a nice bum.” Squeezing his cheeks around my erection, I grind against his supple cheeks. 

“That is enough.” His voice is strained.

“Yes. You are right sir. Inside you is the best.” I use my thumbs to separate his cheeks until I get a nice view of his hole. “Is this better sir. Inside is where you want it right?” I don’t give him time to get accustomed before I’m using him as I’ve always wanted. His back is against my chest as I rock him against me. My arms around his slender frame, I begin unbuttoning him. His long fingers are inside his mouth forcing his throat to swallow all sounds.

“Unhand me!” His eyes clinch shut as I thrust inside deeply. “Y.. you will not continue.” With ease I unfasten each button until lovely unmarked pale skin greets me. Now he’s actually fighting back. Stained nails rake over my arms in defiance, but it only arouses me. I can only see the color of his ivory skin at this angle.

“Let me get a good look at you Sir.” Reluctantly I pull out and force his back into my bed. He’s twisting from my grasp until I -with little effort- restrain him. When I see him, I’m almost afraid to touch him. His wrists are frail, stomach sunken in, ribs like a skeleton. His eyes are angry and spiteful.

“Beast. Freak. Monster.” He spits the words. My thumb follows the rigid path of his ribcage.

“Sir?”

“Get your fucking hands off of me.” He’s kicking me. Biting if I come near enough to his mouth. 

He’s gone soft.

“Sir. Are you alright?” He’s malnourished.

“I don’t need your concern you rapist.” He’s just throwing insults until something sticks and angers me. “Uneducated Neanderthal.”

“Is this why you didn’t want me to see your body.”

“Fuck you.”

“Or is this only a part of it. Sir. You don’t have to hide from me.” I try to be gentle when I touch him, but my hands look so large against his skin. My fingers push inside of him feeling for his sweet spots. My other hand does what I’ve wanted to do for a long time. I softly jack him off until he’s gotten hard. Even when I’m jacking him in my mouth, he’s refusing to make any sound. His heavy head is against my pillows turned away from me. I don’t have to be smart to understand that look. Self-loathing. 

I take my time and show every inch of his bony frame affection. Keeping my fingers pumping into him at a steady pace, I use my other hand to explore all of him. “I don’t need this from you.” Need this. Affection? Or does he think that I pity him?

“This has been a long time coming. Just enjoy it sir. You always make me feel good. Let me return the favor.”

“I don’t need to feel good!” His voice is venom. Eyes, lethal. 

“Severus. Are you not well?” He growls viciously. 

“My ‘wellness’ is none of your concern. You should have just laid there and let me do as I please.”

“Well now sir, you are going to lay still and let _me_ do as I please.” It doesn’t even require strength to pin him down. I just lay one of my hands over his abdomen and he doesn’t have the strength to get up. My oversized fingers shape his insides carefully. His hands are balled into resilient fists and he’s striking my chest and arms. Wherever he can reach. Each blow stings a bit, and if I were a normal sized man I might would cave under the violence, but I’m not a normal sized man.

“Let me go or I’ll dissect you and put your innards in a jar.” It’s actually really interesting to watch his tiny little hole stretch around my fingers. “I swear. I will not forgive you for this.” Even with three of my fingers, the little thing still has room. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. He takes me fairly often. “Please.” The voice is not sharp anymore. It’s low and resigned. He exhales slowly and his voice sounds defeated. “Just please don’t hurt me.” His head is turned again. Facing away from me. We’ve had sex to many times for him to mean getting hurt that way.

“Severus. Look at me.”

“Go fuck yourself.” 

“Come now Severus. I only want for us to both feel good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the idea of severus being a topping from the bottom character but mostly when he's trying to pretend like he isn't uncomfortable. Severus in this was going to be a bit more modest and that ends up being his main reason for all the rules.
> 
> side note. I've posted many ideas already, but that isn't even a fraction of the amount I have. I think I have approximately fifty-seventy of these ideas that I've not fully fleshed out yet.


	24. snagrid deaged

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Severus/Hagrid  
Tags: mentions of sex, semi mature, eventual deage
> 
> severus brews a potion but woops it deages him.

It isn’t a secret that Rubeus and I have been together since the war ended. I returned to my post as potion’s master and Rubeus Hagrid had the gall to voice an interest in pursuing a relationship with me. No one was more surprised than myself when I actually agreed. 

A sprig of dandelion root followed by ashwinder egg. Stirred counterclockwise eight times. It is dangerous to brew unregistered potions, but that is how all potions start out. I hold no illusions about how I am viewed, but I’ve also always been comfortable with my flaws. Three drops of honeywater. I do not ‘play well’ with others. I never have. This ‘flaw’ if it is one, never bothered me. I do not need false pleasantries.

I surprised myself by agreeing to this bumbling dolt’s pursuit of a relationship. He isn’t particularly attractive. He’s clumsy. Entirely too shameless. But I was intrigued. I had never been with a man before. And if I were honest there were few times that I had even been with a female. It simply wasn’t a priority. 

Stir clockwise precisely four times and let cool.

I used my role as spy to convince myself that being alone was preferable. In actuality. I was afraid. Afraid to love. Afraid to be loved. After Lily, I held no interest in building any relationships. Even those of friendship. After the war, I wasn’t rightly sure what to do with myself. Sure. I resumed teaching. Some thought more favorably of me while others thought less so, so it was much the same as it had always been.

The potion must be aged no less than a month to allow the various ingredients to ferment. I cannot mess it up by testing it too soon. This is after all my twenty first attempt. 

He walked up to me after the Slytherin vs Gryffindor quittance game in that strange gait of his. He congratulated me. Then loud enough for everyone to hear, he asked me if he could take me out for a coffee or fire whisky or ‘something. Whatever you want really’ as he eloquently put it. To be fair, I don’t think he intended to be loud, but all of him is large. Even his booming voice. Students and faculty alike looked on in bemused interest. I thought about ripping him a new one for attempting to humiliate me. But Hagrid has never done anything of the sort. I questioned the sincerity. And once I was sure that he meant no ill by his invitation, I agreed before I could stop myself. 

This potion is created for a singular purpose just like all potions are. But I’m sure I would be utterly humiliated if anyone knew the particular purpose for this one.

I’ve had to brew potions out of necessity in order to be ‘with’ Hagrid. Pain suppressants. Ointments to even allow my body to take his more than ample size. That in and of itself would be embarrassing enough to admit too, but this particular potion goes beyond carnal desires. 

I hear it all the time. The pity that everyone seems to feel for Hagrid. Pity that he is attached to someone so utterly unfazed. No doubt I seem heartless. I’ve killed for that blasted war. I’ve tarnished my already piss poor reputation and at the end of it- I look undaunted. Far from it actually. 

I have nightmares every night. 

Many believe that I feel nothing for the oaf that I’ve come to love. And many believe that Hagrid is much too good for me.

I would have to agree. 

He’s bright. Earthy. Easy going. Loving. So completely loving that I just melt. But there are some things that I just can’t do.

I’ve fooled myself into believe that he must know how I feel about him. He must know that I do love him. That I do depend on him. 

I do not care a bit about the words against me. But I worry that Hagrid may believe me to be too harsh. So I began work on this little potion. A potion to soften me. A potion that will help me express the words that I’m much too afraid to admit aloud. Because I am afraid. 

Only I can’t even admit that aloud. I hide behind my biting seething demeanor, and he doesn’t complain when I swat his hand away. He doesn’t push when he says words of love and I cannot bring myself to say them back. 

So I need a bit of help. Just something to force me to be vulnerable around him. 

The potion is done and I feel confident this time that it’ll work. Still, just in case I have a cure all at the ready. I’m still hesitating though because it is not in my nature to be seen as weak. I’m still hesitating because somewhere in the back of my mind I still believe he might be putting me on. 

Some people do not deserve to be happy, and I always believed that I was one of those unlucky few.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are countless deaged fanfiction stories, but I like how this one is set up. Basically the premise is, the potion does succeed in softening him, but it does that by regressing him to a time that he was already vulnerable. I planned for this to be a long oneshot, maybe 8 thousand or so words. And it would include Severus from Several ages including infant and at the cusp of puberty. It would include situational humiliation for poor Severus, but of course Hagrid wouldn't tease him anything more than playfully. Severus would also be aware at each age, but be unable to do anything. For example. Severus knows he's a baby. He understands how to feed himself, but he lacks coordination as an infant to be able to successfully feed himself.


	25. kiss the bride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pairing: Sirius/Severus  
Tags: Mature, Mpreg, arranged marriage.

I just woke up. That’s the only way I can think to explain it. I was asleep and then I woke up. The war was already over. Harry had already saved the day and I was just awake. Not really even able to say where I was before. I woke up in St Mungo, Harry sitting in a chair beside the bed. I honestly thought that it was a dream. I honestly thought it was James Potter waiting for me to wake up in the afterlife. But I saw the scar and knew otherwise.

I just woke up. That’s all that happened. I woke up without a reason for being alive. I know that I fell through the veil. But somehow I was now alive. And no one could give me a reason why. 

Harry told me that I had been in a coma like state for almost a month. He had received a letter from an unknown sender basically stating that his godfather was in St. Mungo’s and is likely to make a full recovery. He went on to say that all of the staff he has talked to said that it wasn’t them. 

Someone saved me, reunited me with Harry, and seems intent on staying hidden. 

“Snape. What the fuck are you doing here.” How did he even get in. The house should refuse him entrance.

“I will be living here starting today.” He states with an air of confidence that I didn’t expect from him.

“Living here?! Why would you even think that.”

“Listen up Black, you and I have unfinished business.” He crosses his arms and refuses to look at me. “And loath as I am to admit this, I need an heir.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There isn't much to this yet, but I've mulled this story over for about seven years now. And I like the idea though it's a bit farfetched. Basically, Severus's and Sirius's mothers were both friends at one point. Both from pureblood families initially they had known each other for some time and were friends though mostly of the superficial type. Elieen Snape brought little Severus over one day and explained to Sirius's mother that she no longer wanted Severus because he was showing signs of magic. Eventually a deal is struck up and the two mothers decide that Sirius and Severus will one day be wed and have a family since Severus is a Prince even though his blood is tainted. This story would be set after the war and Severus would explain why Sirius doesn't remember him.

**Author's Note:**

> This is one of those shorter ideas and honestly a little to on the nose for me. Everyone has done the I'm the hero that doesn't want to be a hero anymore and I don't want to follow what I'm suppose to do idea. All in all, I'm just not inspired by this one enough, and I can't think of what could make it more exciting to write.


End file.
